A Reunion and a Revelation

By: Ophelia Pain

Date: 15th Jul 2021

I grinned widely at my phone screen, rolling my eyes at the corny flirting…it had been a hot minute since I was flirted with like this. I felt like a high school kid again passing notes with the cute boy in Math class…cue Jeffree’s observant eye…

What are you smiling at?

Oh nothin…just…Twitter…this guy…

Another one?

I rolled my eyes and shot off a quick selfie, tagged him, and sent it…

Lemme see this guy…

I bit my lip and showed her the last picture he sent me…big brown eyes, tattoos, brown hair…

That JAWLINE!

I KNOW!!!

We both squealed as he took my phone and looked at his pictures. He started scrolling through our exchanges and rolled his eyes while he smiled…

You guys are gay…

He’s an expert in that department…

I rolled my eyes and took my phone back. I grinned at my phone and closed Twitter, mildly disappointed that there wasn’t a new response for me. I sighed and looked out the plane window…

Whats wrong?

Nothing…just thinking…

Liar…

Shut up…

Question…

Answer…

You got over that Paul dude pretty easily?

Meh…that was lust…the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to do it. I worked hard to lose that “whore” label and I don’t want to fall back into an opportunity for people to use that against me…

Sis is monogomous…we love that…

Meh…I guess…Paul was hot as shit, but there was a lot of drama surrounding him and his brother…not to mention they run with Tommy…which is 100% a hell fucking no from me brah…

Your ex?! Yeah…peace out Paul…

Now Lewis-

Aw his name is Lewis?

He goes by LC…he’s a blank slate…he doesn’t even run with the FIGHT crew…which I like. He seems super goofy and sweet…we’ll see..

I shrugged and smirked at my phone…a text from Walt popped up on the black screen, I opened it..

Huh…

What?

Walt said there is a package waiting for me at home…He wants to know if I want him to open it…

Ooooooh! A package?! Who sent it?

Someone from the the company sent it I think…Imma FaceTime Walt real quick…

My jet lagged face showed up until Tilly answered…

What?

Hey…where’s Walt?

Staring at the box that you got…what is it?

Thats why I called…

You didn’t call because you miss me?

No…hand me to Walt…

She huffed and handed the phone to Walter, who was held the phone centimeters from his face so I could see and count every single nose hair…

Hey troublemaker…

Hey…did you open the box?

No…I wanted to wait and make sure its not a bomb…

I’m sure its safe to open…

He shrugged and nodded. I heard his pocketknife open, cut through the tape on the box, the box hit the ground, and something metallic in his hands…he held what looked like a small silver urn up to the camera…

The card says “Your search is over. He is always with you now. Best, X”…whose he? Whose X?

Walt’s questions started to fall on deaf ears. The moment I saw the silver urn, I knew exactly what it was…my heart was pounding in my ears and I felt the color drain from my face…Walt looked at me inquisitively when suddenly it must have dawned on him who ‘he’ was…

Oh Ophelia…

I know…

Who is it?

I can’t believe he found him…

Whose he?

After all these years…

Whose in the urn?!

I had kinda hoped I would have gotten to say goodbye…

So help me god, if someone doesn’t tell me who the hell we’re talking about, I’m gonna-

Gonna what? Be an angry disembodied voice in my head? What a fucking change!

She went quiet because I had made a great point. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this was the reunion I’d had in my imagination for almost 10 years…it was even harder for me to wrap my head around the fact that X had been able to find him and I hadn’t…but after he married that cunt wife of his, I didn’t really try that hard to find him…

Walt can I call you back?

Sure, honey…you okay?

I’m not sure…I’ll keep you posted…

Okay sweetie…call me if you need anything…

I nodded and ended the call…Jeffree looked at me with a wrinkled forehead…

What was in the box?

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair…I looked at him, resting my cheek on my fist…

My dad…

Jeffree gasped slightly and his hand gently clapped over his mouth…

Oh Pheelz…

I know…

Did you know he died?

No…I didn’t…

Are you okay?

I don’t know…I think part of me expected something like this when I found him…but you’re never really prepared to hear that your father is dead…

I thought it had been years since you’d seen him…

It has…after he married Lisa, I threw myself into work and we lost touch…he started his family and I went off to start mine…he hasn’t even seen me since I got clean…

I…..I don’t know what to say…

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t know what to say either…I had always wanted to reconcile with my father, but I didn’t really know how to do that. I resented him for leaving my mother when I was a kid and dipping in and out of mine and my brother’s life as we got older. I thought I felt indifferent at best towards his life, but now knowing that I was never going to get the chance to reconcile, show him that I was clean and healthy and happy…introduce him to his grand daughter…and at least know that he was okay, happy, and healthy…

I hope he didn’t suffer…

Are you gonna reach out to his wife?

Hell no…that bitch can chase me around social media and the world threatening to kick my ass and tell me what a terrible daughter I am, but she can’t shoot a fucking email about my father being sick or that he died?

I mean…not to be friends or whatever…but to find out how he went?

Whats it matter how he went? He’s gone…and now all I have are his ashes…which I feel like if X found him, the fucking bitch left him where he died and they had no choice…but wherever he’s been for however long he’s been gone apparently wanted to honor him…otherwise I feel like his ashes would have been spread months after he passed…

A realization hit me that I stopped in its tracks…I didn’t even want to think that I had missed saying goodbye to my father by a factor of months…

Can we change the subject?

Pheelz, it’s okay to be sad…he was your father…

I just don’t want to talk about it anymore…

C’mon, Ophelia-

I said I don’t want to talk about it anymore!

I instantly felt bad for snapping at him…but I knew the more I talked about it, the more upset I’d become…I was getting angry. If it had been recently that he had passed, I wasn’t exactly difficult to find or reach out to. Even over the passed few years, he could have reached out…

Good riddance…

Seriously?

What? You’re the one boo hooing about him not saying goodbye…

I know, but I’m still allowed to be sad…

No you’re not…messages work 2 ways…you could have reached out to him just as easily as he reached out to you…

She made a good point…

Of course I make a good point! You HATE when I’m right…

She was right…and I hated it…

See?

So….uhm…has Lewis text you back yet?

In swoops Jeffree with an excellent distraction…I pulled my phone out hastily and opened the message…

He said he’d be down to play Mario Kart 8 with me…

Ooooh! Make sure you wear some clean panties…fuckin nerds…

Shut up…he’s cute…and I’m not trying to rush to bed with him…I like this one…

I opened up my email and found a notification that I have a new email from FIGHT!. I opened the message and was surprised to see that I’m on the card for Venom…

Huh…

What?

I….have a match this week…

What the fuck?!

I know…what the fuck?

How did that happen?

I don’t fuckin know…

Well….whose it against?

Uhm…Michelle Moore…

Ehhh…Brandon Moore’s wife?

I think so…

Oh cool…isn’t she….kind of a bitch?

You’re kind of a bitch and no one holds it against you…

Yeah well, we’re not a bitch with a murderous husband…

Fair point…

I sat in silence for a bit…LC’s face popping in between thoughts of stepping back into the ring. I’d have to admit that I was a bit nervous…not of WHO I’m stepping in against, but stepping back in front of a crowd. Would the fans still remember me? Would they cheer or boo? Was I worth anyone’s time of day?

Then I remembered…

I’m Ophelia Fucking Pain…and the fans love me no matter what! They buy my makeup just because it as my name on it! They bring my old merch from my beginning years in this business for me to sign at my Ulta, Sephora, and Morphe store meet and greets! They stop me in the streets as to take pictures with me!
Of COURSE they still love me out there! Why else would FIGHT! NYC seek me out to join the roster? I put asses in seats! Some of those asses are teenage girls that don’t know the difference between an arm bar and a wrist lock, but they love my makeup and paid good money to see me compete!

I don’t know why I try to talk myself out of feeling good and excited about the things I’ve worked for…I deserve to be psyched about this match…I deserve to be psyched about the prospect of mopping the mat with Miss Michelle…I deserve whatever comes my way from this day forward!

Hold on to your shapely behind, Mrs. Moore! The Pain Train is thundering down the tracks in your direction!

Ew…don’t call yourself The Pain Train please…I’m gonna throw up in our mouth…

Everyone’s a critic…