Diary Diary #6 – My PTO Request Was Denied

By: Paul Montuori

Date: 13th Aug 2021

Dear Diary.. O M G.. I have oh so much to tell you. So much has gone on since we last talke.. I last wrote? Semantics, who has time to get caught up in them? Not me. Not with everything that has happened.. Sooooooo I guess Alexis and I are going steady. Insert heart emoji. I gave her my lettermanís jacket with my Varsity pin. Go Cougars. Weíve been hanging out a lot lately. Going out to clubs. Itís been fun, especially at the clubs. All the guys are super friendly to me. Always wanting to dance with me. And see my body. And I donít mind because I look good. Now that I think about it, I think theyíre workout enthusiasts. Theyíre always telling jokes about how they wanna wear me out. I wonder if they do Crossfit? Iíve never done that. Donít really think I should start though. Iím getting in tons of workouts with Alexis. Like, wearing me out. And by wearing me out I mean sex. Weíre having sex. Can you believe it? A hottie like that banging little olí me.. I totally won my match against Murphy. At uh.. Venom 4? Or 5? Which one are we on now? 6? Doesnít matter. What matters is I did it. I beat Murphy Fagan. A victory over a top level talent. I mean, say what you want about Murphy. Mainly about him having horrible tastes in friends. And of course Iím referring to him being best friends with Dane Preston. Of all the doods, or even chicks, in the world heís friends with Dane. But donít we all have that one friend weíre embarrassed of? Iím sure Iím that friend for Michelle. She loves me tho.. But in all seriousness, Murphy can fucking go man. Heís no slouch. So the fact that he has to carry around the Loserís Championship, makes that victory even sweeter. But hey, he should be thanking me. Heís still a Champion. And if he continues hanging around Dane, thatíll be the only Championship he wins. You also totally missed the opening of Venom 5. Or 6? Letís not do this again.. Is my lifetime blood brother Brandon Moore fucking Damon Riggs? They fought, they blew each other, then B won I guess? Whatís going on with that? Sort of a weird thing to do with your brother-inlaw. But I guess you have to keep it in the family. OMG I wonder if it has anything to do with Michelle. With the whole baby thing. Wait, did I tell you? Bruh, Michelle is prego. And definitely an episode of Maury. Talking multiple possible baby daddies. I thought for sure I was in the running, but Michelle claims we never banged. Hash tag me too so I kept it moving. Brandon for sure thinks itís his. Who knows the last time they banged? And thereís rumors of Ricky Rodriguez. Heís a good kid, tons of potential, but I doubt the kid needs that headache. I mean, you know I love Michelle, but that kid couldnít handle her crazy. It takes a special type of crazy to handle her. You are not the father! I always wanted to say that. Maybe Michelle will let me read the results? Or maybe she knows who the baby daddy is and is playing coy. Try and get these doods to fawn all over her. Smart move. Get some baby shower presents from multiple guys. Sheís no dummy.. She reluctantly agreed to let me throw the baby shower. I donít know what her deal is. She knows no one will throw it better than me. Who would she rather have? Someone from Bís family? Pft, weíd be all sharing the same boxed wine. Or Daneís new girlfriend Sahara? I mean, Iíd fuck her, if she hadnít banged Dane already. P. Mont does not follow Dane. Joeís a better man than I am..

But it gets even wilder! Ms. F and her fine ass announced the first team in the Team Wars: TOXIC TAG tournament bracket thingy. She was all excited, as she shouldíve been. Team numero uno is FIGHT! NYC Empire Champion “The Calamity” Dickie Watson. And would you guess who his partner will be? If youíre thinking of thee handsomest, most awesomest, amazingest man you know. Then youíre right because itís me! Paul Montuori! How fucking crazy is that? Dickie Watson and Paul Montuori teaming up at Team Wars: TOXIC TAG.Thatís a mouthful, never gets easier.. They donít have to announce the rest of the bracket. IT DONíT MATTER! Weíre running away with this thing. Itís a fucking wrap to every other tag team out there. Done dada bruh. Anyone teaming with Paul Montuori is a favorite to win, let alone the Empire Champ..

My excitement soon turned to uh.. Reality? Dickie Watsonís supposed to be my arch nemesis. I confronted him at Venom #4. We had words before Joe got involved. Which I didnít ask him to. You know Iíve been working hard to change my evil ways. Iím like Groot, wait thatís not right. Which one is with the Minions? Grut? Grot? The bad dood turned good guy. You know the movie..

How the fuck am I going to tag with Dickie Watson? Huh? Weíre beefing. Like Tupac and Biggie. Nah, these younginís wonít get that reference.. Harry Potter and Voldemort. Bruh, I think that might even be too old. Like a Youtube guy and an Instagramer. Insert whoever the fuck you want. Just not New Blippie. Fuck that creep.

Just when the rivalry is starting to heat up. Ready to take that march towards facing Dickie Watson for the NYC Empire Championship, here she come. Miss F. fucking up my focus and completely derailing my plans. Now I have to make a detour, stopping at Team Wars: TOXIC TAG to win the damn thing. Wait, what do we win? A title shot right? But Joe and Allie are the current Champs. Letís not think about that right now. We leave that for another day..

So, am I supposed to be nice to Dickie now? Like, Joe kicked him in the face. I swear I told him not to do anything. Iím a big boy now.. Nah fuck that, Iím a BIG DOG papi suave! I can handle my own problems. Iíll be sure to remind Joe.. But Iím a professional, I can put my beef on hold to handle bidness. Iím able to separate the two nowadays. Old P. Mont wouldíve did a double double cross. Beat Dickie nice and good. Wait.. But new P. Mont, new P. Mont is going to focus on making sure heís a great partner for Dickie. Iím a tag team wrestling specialist. All because I won OPWís Tag Wars and held the belts once over there. But I guess thatís not really much to brag about. Who brags about places theyíve won belts in? Half the people donít even know the promotion theyíre talking about. Not sure why any of this matters..

And of course the big fuck yous to olí Paul Montuori continue. FIGHT! being FIGHT! has to go and fuck shit up even more. Bruh, how the fuck are they going to put RIcky Rodriguez and I against Amari Hunter and Dickie Fuckiní Watson! Weeks before Team Wars: TOXIC TAG theyíre going to have us face each other. I was already mentally preparing myself to team with Dickie and now I gotta completely switch gears and go ham on Dickie Watson. Or do I? Make this a little exhibition? Let Paul Montuori show these three younginís whatís up. Put on a fucking clinic like only a BIG DOG could. Send a message to the rest of the roster. Stand zero choice. Iím on a warpath, laser focused bruh like Kobe.

This might be a great thing for Ricky tho. Joe and I saw a lot in the kid so we brought him onboard. Pass some knowledge down onto him. So this is perfect. Throw him right into the deep end. Headfirst. Put up or shut up time. Rolling with me, itís the fucking spotlight at all times. Always gotta be ready. Like my boy Pony Boy Curtis used to say, “If you stay ready, ya donít gotta get ready.” Weíre going to see what the kid is made of. I know heís going to show out. And what better way to show out than in a Main Event of a FIGHT! show with Paul Montuori as his partner against the two top champions of the promotion. Oof, people work their entire careers hoping to get an opportunity like this. But I have all the faith in the world that heís going to bring his A game.. Canít get passed Dickie Fuckiní Watson. My new arch nemesis. Well, sort of I guess, seeing as thereís no one else. Thereís fYa, but theyíre more Joeís beef. I just got dragged into it. Thereís the Cure. But after what Vinnie Black did to Dollface, yawn.. So naturally it has to be Dickie Watson. Thee Empire Champion. The guy that beat the entire roster.. Including myself. Oh how Dickie enjoys reminding the world of that. That he beat the entire roster. But specifically. Paul Montuori. The kidís new claim to fame. Good for him. Something to hang his Black Flag hat on. Or Good Charlotte, they seem more like his style.. I canít forget Dickieís partner. Amari Hunter. Weird how my relationship with Amari has evolved. I first saw him when I made my long awaited return to Fade 2 Black Wrestling. He caught my eye. A cocky young kid with a lot to prove. Reminded me of my younger self. Except without all the hate and spewing all that vile. Kid has charisma and can go in the ring. He impressed me when we faced each other. I beat him, but the kid gave me a run for my money. 100% earned my respect that night. Then F2B closed and he joined OPW not long after. Week after week he would show out, doing his thing. I knew with the right guidance, the kid could be great. I pegged him as the Next Big Thing. And I started to move some pieces around so I could bring the kid under my wing. But then things got weird.. See, Amari used to date Alexis Hunter. By the looks of it, she was more like his mom than his girlfriend. He stayed with her, she paid all the bills. Paid for his album. On some Tyga/Kylie shit. I canít hate tho. He did his thing. He was able to concentrate on honing his craft without worrying about the payday. A lot of us wouldíve killed for an opportunity like that. And Alexis is hot.. Not long after they broke up, Todrick and Austin Ramsey introduced me to Alexis at a party. We hit it off. And I guess now weíre dating. And Amari started to get super salty about it. Even had that chick of his South throw shade at me in one of his promos. I thought we were cooler than that. I reached out to him, wanting to work with him right around the time OPW was ending. But he was still worried about Alexis. Saying how could we do work together if I was banging his ex. Silly kid, everyone has been fucked by someone in their life. Why would you let something like that effect your paper? Especially if he was sooo in love with South? Iím here for the kid whenever he finally wakes up..

But oh how life is so.. Beautiful. Mr. GOAT himself will be teaming up with his new arch nemesis Dickie Watson at Team Wars: TOXIC TAG One night itís the two of us across from each other. The next weíre teaming to take home that trophy. Wait, could this be the start of a run as a tag team, a run the likes that no one has ever seen before? Nobody can touch me right now, Iím hot as fuck. And Dickie, well, even though heís like 1-3, heís still the Empire Champion.

For now.. But the climb has fucking begun. Paul Montuori is hitting his fucking stride. Showing his worth. Showing heís the next Big Fucking Dog. Showing the world Iím the fucker to look at. The one to pay attention to. The Show Fucking Stopper. When Iím out in front of the crowd, nobody else matters. Nothing else matters. All eyes on me. The people canít help themselves. Drawn to me like Allie to Joe.. ”Hey Dad, waddya doing doing?” I look up to see Madison walking into my office. I shut my diary and put it into the desk drawer, trying to be nonchalant. But I know I blew it as she saw the whole, spazzy move.

”Oh nothing, just going over my calendar and travel schedule, ” I say as she walks over and sits down across from me.

”About that.. Why do you have to go to Greece?”

“Iím filming a show,” I say as I look over at Madison, who looks annoyed.

“What kind of show?”

”A reality show.”

”In Greece?”

“Yeah. They take a trip every season. Figure itíd drum up some drama. And from past seasons, them crusty heauxs always beefing over something silly.”

”OK. But why do YOU have to go to Greece? Why are you on a reality show with a bunch of Influencers? Youíre above that.”

“Itís all about expanding the brand. And Iím not above anything. Life is about experiencing as much of it as you can. That means going to Greece to film a reality show, Iím with it.”

“He just wants to spend a week in Greece with Alexis,” I hear Michelle say. I turn to see her nosey ass standing in the doorway of my office, Starbucks cup in my hand.

”That better be decaf,” I say. She knows better.

”Ugh, will you stop already?”

“And I think itís time for some maternity clothes,” I say, pointing to her belly sticking out from her shirt.

”Fuck you,” she says as she crosses the room and sits down in one of the arm chairs. “Are you flying with her?”

”Joeís letting us use his jet. Todrick and Austin are coming too. And I think theyíre bringing someone.” ”Wow, sheís got you by the balls already, huh? Guyís like you usually fall so quickly. It probably took a lot to even ask Joe to borrow his jet.” ”You expect me to fly commercial all the way to Greece? Fuck that. And Joe owes me.” ”More than you know.. So whatís this brand you were talking about?” Oh uh.. You know. Thee brand. Paul Montuori. Me.”

”Ohh no P, sweetie. The Paul Montuori Brand? Is that even a thing?” Michelle says, laughing.

”What? Iím a Big Dog now. Well, on my way to being a Big Dog. As a Big Dog, I should start acting like it. Part of it is raising my profile.” And Michelle canít help but continue to laugh. Great..

”Iím sorry. But itís ridiculous. Youíre lucky people tolerate you at this point after being scummy for so long.” I shoot her a look, then motion towards Madison. ”Oh please. She has YouTube. Maddy, just please donít watch any of your dadís uh.. Adult movies.”

”Ew gross. I would never,” Madison says, with a luck of disgust on her face. Please Lord, Iíve never asked you for anything. Even though I havenít been the godliest person. But still I never asked for anything. Just please, please never let her watch ĎLa Anaconda Mordiů A La Mujer.í One of my biggest regrets. Never do porn in Honduras..

“Well, youíre one to talk,”
I say back to Michelle. Thatíll show her.

“Yeah, but I donít give a fuck. Iím Michelle, take me or leave me at my fabulousness,” she says, taking a pull from the straw.

”Puke. Who wants a pregnant chick in her thirties with a possible Baby Daddy who may or may not have committed murder. Iím still saying he paid good money for special effects. I donít know nothing.. You know youíre lucky I kept you around.”

”Ouch, if I had a heart that wouldíve stung. Youíre lame. Your skinís bad, your cuticles are dry and your hair has split ends,” she says, with that devilish grin on her face. I instantly gasped, looking down at my nails then running my hands through my hair.

”How dare you! Like Todrick would say, itís the lies for me. Or was that Adyn? Or Aydn? No one knows who he is anyway..”

”Is he part of the show youíre on?”

“Maybe?”

 

”You donít know?”

 

“I donít even whoís in FIGHT!, let alone who everyone on the show is.”

 

”So when are you leaving?” Madison asks.

 

”Right after Venom. The scheduling worked out. Have two weeks before Team Wars: TOXIC TAG So do a week in Greece and have time to come back and get ready.

 

“What about me? Please donít tell me I have to go stay with my grandparents. Itís terrible there. They donít even have wifi.”

 

“Ohhh look who doesnít wanna go to Jersey now! You made me leave the beautiful Hills of Hollywood to move back here so you could see your grandparents more. But no worries, youíre going to be staying with Michelle. Hopefully sheís going to keep you out of trouble.”

 

“Iím pregnant. What could I possibly do?” She says with a smirk on her face as she winks at Madison, who chuckles.

 

”Aye, Paulie,” I look up to see my cousin Devonte standing at the doorway. ”Someoneís downstairs. Says he knows you. A uh.. Ricky Rodriguez.”

 

”Kidís on time. Gotta respect that. Let him up.”

 

”Aight, no doubt,” he says and leaves the room.

 

”I still donít get how heís your cousin,” Michelle says.

 

”Waddya mean?”

 

“Heís black,” Michelle says nervously. ”I can say that right?”

 

“Heís black? Really? Hmm.. I never really noticed. Well, I guess it makes sense seeing as his momís from Africa. Nigeria or Zimbabwe? I forget.. She banged my Uncle Leo. They had a kid. Never got married. I didnít know he existed until a couple of years ago. I guess it was a big secret in the family.”

 

”Wait, why was it a secret?”

 

“Because his momís black. And the family was a bit uh.. Racist. But most of them arenít in powe.. I mean uh.. Theyíre retired.”

 

”You dick, you just said you didnít notice he was..”

 

”Hey Paul, whatís up?” Ricky Rodriguez steps into the office followed by some dood with a camera.

 

”Ricky, wadap playa,” I say as I walk over and shake his hand.

 

”Playa?” Madison says, laughing. ”Who still says that?”

 

“Alright, shut up,” I say.

 

”Oh, this is my buddy Big Ass Bobby.”

 

”Big Ass Bobby?” Michelle says, laughing.

 

”Alright be nice. Bobby, nice to meet you. Friend of Ricky’s is a friend of mine.”

 

”Nice to meet you too,” Big Ass Bobby says. I guess itís kind of a cool name. Heís pretty big. And Iím sure his name is Bobby.. I look over to see Ricky and Michelle staring at each other.

 

”Hey,” Ricky finally says.

 

”Hey,” Michelle responds back. That was.. Awkward.

 

”So, this match. Weíre gonna own it out there, not gonna let either one of yíall down,” Ricky says.

 

”I know you wo..” I get out before Devonte comes barging in.

 

”Yo! Joe just called. Heís on his way over in his chopper and wants to know if itís cool to land on the roof.”

 

”What? Land his chopper on the roof? Can the roof even handle that weight?” Devonte shrugs. ”Excuse me fellas, Iíll be right back. Madison, come with me. Some reason Joe listens to you.”

 

Joe doesnít listen to anyone. But itís going to be awkward enough between Ricky and Michelle with Bobby filming. Madison doesn’t need to be wrapped up in that. With that We followed Devonte to the roof. Sure enough I saw Joe off in the distance.

 

”Heís for real right?” Devonte asks.

 

”Oh, 100,” I asked. There we stood, shielding our eyes from the sun with our hands as we watched the helicopter get closer and closer until it was hovering over us. I signaled to Joe not to land. He just kept descending to the point where we were screaming and waving our arms. Still didnít work. We had to duck away as the helicopter landed on the roof. As the blades began to slow, Joe hops out with a huge grin on his face.

 

”Brother Joe. Devonte. Madison. How you doing?”

 

”Really? Just going to act like you didnít see us telling you not to land,” I say, as the grin on his face gets bigger.

 

”I saw you guys,” he says as he pats me on the back and starts walking towards the stairs.

 

”Wait, whereís the pilot?” Madison asks.

 

”Pilot? Joe Montuori doesnít need a pilot.” We all look at each other and roll our eyes as we follow him downstairs. We find my niece once removed, or some shit, standing in the kitchen crying.

 

”Krystina, what happened?” I ask as she turns to me.

 

”Michelle.. Fired me..”

 

”Michelle? That bitch it here?” Joe asks, as his grin disappears.

 

”Joe, relax,” I say. One thing you donít do if you donít want to end up on Joeís bad side is fuck with family. I walk over and comfort Krystina. “Listen, youíre not fired. Michelle canít fire you, you donít work for her. Plus sheís pregnant. And hormonal. She didnít mean it.”

 

”Nah, fuck that bitch Michelle. Why do you even have her around still? Sheís back with Brandon. And sheís been hanging out with Sahara.”

 

”Bruh.. Devonte, how about you take Krystina and Madison to go pick up dinner for everything. Here uh..” I reach into my pockets and pull out a wad. I slap it in Devonteís hand. ”Get enough for everyone.”

 

”Aight. Letís go ladies,” Devonte says as he heads for the elevator.

 

”But I want to stay. I wanna see Joe and Michelle go at it,” Madison says, pouting.

 

”Aye, Krystina needs you. Theyíll be plenty of opportunities to see them go at it.”

 

”Fine.” She grabs Krystina by the arm and leads her to the elevator. I turn to Joe.

 

”Promise me you wonít be a dick.”

 

”I make no such promises,” Joe says as he walks towards the office. I quickly follow behind him as he opens the door and goes barging in. “Who do you think you are firing my God niece?”

 

”Your what?” Michelle says, confused.

 

”My God niece Krystina. She just left crying because you fired her.”

 

”Oh. I fired her?”

 

”You fucking bit..”

 

”OK Joe, relax. No need for that,” I say, interjecting. I look over to see Bad Ass Bobby recording us now. Great. ”Listen, Michelle. Do me a favor. Devonteís taking Krystina and Madison to go get food. Go with them.”

 

”Why? I rather sit here and watch Joe lose his shit.”

 

”Oh Iíll fucking show you me losing my s..”

 

”Michelle, please,” I say.

 

”Fine. I was bored with you losers anyway,” she says as she stands up. As she walks out of the room I stop her.

 

”And apologize to Krystina.”

 

”Ugh, fine.”

 

With that, sheís out. I sit down in the chair behind my desk as Joe walks over and starts making drinks.

 

”So you two are teaming up against Dickie and Amari?” Joe says as he hands all of us a drink. ”Have you guys gone over your strategy?”

 

“Not yet, I guess we should now,” I say. We all slowly turn to Big Ass Bobby holding the camera.

 

”Right, I think itís time to turn off the camera..”