[ FIGHT-NYC | CHAPTER 3 ] – Measuring Loyalty (in Inches)

By: Graham Clauson

Date: 30th Jul 2021

—————-
“RE-STRING”
—————-

[ Male Voice ]: “This wasnít part of the plan!”

[ The desk is much more cluttered, papers strewn across with no discernable pattern. In other spots, a coffee mug sitting on a piece of paper with an obvious ring of coffee under it that has dried, empty leftover takeout containersÖ The daily calendar has not been flipped in days: March 3Ö? ]

[ ? ]: “We never had loyalty to you. This was a business arrangement.”

[ For the first time, it is made clear that Grahamís father, Matt, is the man who has been brokering something in the last couple weeks. He is very angry, frustrated, and erratic as he yells at the party on the other side of the line. ]

[ Matt ]: “You didnít hold up your end, either! You were supposed to have his back!”

[ The voice on the other end is as cool as the dead chick in Jeffrey Dahmerís freezer. ]

[ ? ]: “Why should we have? We told you what we wanted and when.”

[ Matt ]: “Your obligations were steep and your timeframe was ridiculous, and you even conceded that in the initial negotiations and offered reprieve when you realized what you were asking for me to turn over. What makes you think-”

[ ? ]: “-oh-ho, no. What makes you think that you had any leverage in this deal? Simply put, I changed the terms of our deal: The dealís off.

[ The call ends. Matt wants to slam his phone, but remembers he has an iPhone and doing that would shatter it and he isnít that stupid. A lot of people in the audience look pissed.

Wait, thereís an audience? ]

[ Matt ]: “The deal was off when you decided to double-cross me, ya wenchÖ”

[ As Matt turns around, we see that he has several pegboards with several documents and photos involving Jeremy, many of which appear to be either official government documentation or extensive medical histories. We also see photos of Ariel Shadows, Graham, Ken, Jeremyís son Ross Hanson, Ross Hanson’s young child, Gaia Galanos, Grahamís ex-wife Gina Winters, even Mattís own brother Rob is on the board. He looks back over all of them in brief, crossing his arms as his head tilts. ]

[ Matt ]: “Guess Iím going to have to figure out some other way to pull this offÖ Either way, guess Iíve got to finesse one of the gays over there. DammitÖ”

[ Matt turns his head, looking down at a small photo in a frame. In this photo is a past photo of both he and his late wife Taya from the late 90ís. This is caught as the scene focuses specifically on this photo, slowly zooming in before things fade to black. ]

[ Matt ]: “Maybe then I can finally figure out how you pulled it off…”

 

 


 

—————-
“UNCLE”
—————-

[ As we cold-cut in from black, we see “WELCOME TO IKEA” – shameless product placement, here we come! ]

[ Ken ]: “So which one do you want?”

[ Graham ]: “Whichever one wonít break under both our weightÖ We know this stuff can be used in table spots.”

[ Lil’ Man ]: “UNCLE LEGLOCK! UNCLE ASS-HOLE!”

[ This kid tends to have the Meet the Fockers pronunciation with this, a little bit of a slight pause between ass and hole. We cut to Ross walking up with Lil’ Man, and of course the shot is more focused on the kid. Cuteness sells. So does sex. Which one will win? ]

[ Ross ]: “You making sure this big baller stays on-budget?”

[ Panning around, we see Ken kneeling down with Lilí Man running right up to him. Ken snaps him up, the kid giggling as Ken raspberries him against his bald head. The beard must tickle. ]

[ Graham ]: “Oh, yeah! We kept it under six figuresÖ”

[ Ross ]: “Which six?”

[ Where the fuck is Graham, anyway? It is IKEA, so for all we know, heís probably around the corner in another display where you can clearly hear but cannot see anyone else. ]

[ Ken ]: “If heís touched any of that cash, I donít know about it and donít want to know. I donít like it.”

[ Ross ]: “You seriously need to quit worrying so much, itís not like sheís going to miss a few grand out of her seemingly endless supply of cash.”

[ Graham ]: “I know I sure ainít worried, bitch is paying for our sex dungeon!”

[ Graham suddenly pops around the corner, seeing Ken holding what he feels is a demon imp – I donít know it for a fact, I just know itís true. He sees the kid and hisses at him, the kid giggles and pulls his hands up like heís squaring up to bop Graham in his nose. Damn, this kid donít give a fuck. ]

[ Ken ]: “Why do you keep making that joke?”

[ Ross ]: “If you do, Lil Manís going to end up in there and think the sling is a piece of playground equipment and Iím not paying for you to make a house for wayward gays.”

[ Ken tries not to laugh at this, but a smile does crack through with a stifled snort. Graham walks up, but ignores the fact that Lil Man is literally swinging his arms like heís trying to hit him in the face. Ken pulls him away so he doesnít actually hit Graham, but Graham does have a few inches of height on Ken, so the kid wouldíve had to launch with a Superman Punch to connect. ]

[ Ross ]: “You see that happening, too, huh?”

[ Ken ]: “No, but I see the kid getting pink eye if we did have one.”

[ Graham ]: “Serves the little fucker right!”

[ Ross ]: “He IS right here, you know!”

[ The adults in the room stare at each other in silence before they realize that the kid, who is currently disassembling one of the display furniture pieces, has slipped out of Kenís grasp. With one bolt twisted off, he looks back and sees everyone looking at him. He sheepishly glances away, then goes to work re-screwing the bolt he just removed. ]

[ Graham ]: “Wait a secondÖ If heís here, and the kidís hereÖ God dammit, Ken! Did you agree to watch that little bastard again?! And how in the fuck did he teleport?!”

[ Ken looks at Graham like heís trying to pierce his skull with lasers as he grumbles under this breath. ]

[ Ross ]: “So much for that jiu-jitsu grapple control, huh?”

[ Ken ]: “HoneyÖyou know Ross has some..stuff…going on…and Iím trying to be a nice person because I was friends with Ross before you went gay for me.”

[ Graham ]: “Oh, I know Ross has issues!”

[ Graham points at Ross, gleeful with his taunt. ]

[ Graham ]: “Your ass got beat up by a girl and then rage-quit Revo1! At least I waited until they sold the company to Action for a half-ounce of mids, a pack of Swisher Sweet Pre-Dumps, and Adelaide Ainsworth…not just her stank-ass pussy, but she can call herself an on-contract call-girl now! And with her gimmick, she would actually be proud of it!”

[ Graham gives a good laugh at this, amused enough that Iím surprised heís not pissing himself. Ross at least smirks at this one. ]

[ Ross ]: “Funny.”

[ Ken ]: “So, how does it feel?”

[ Ross gestures towards the stitches in his forehead. ]

[ Ross ]: “Like I got elbowed in the eyebrow and then they stuck a needle in it 21 times.”

[ Ken ]: “Thatís…oddly specific.”

[ Graham ]: “Yeah, dude. We might be gay, but you got ass-pounded.”

[ Ken ]: “Babe! Seriously?”

[ Ross ]: “Keep talking like that and the price goes up mother fucker.”

[ The “Butler County Mating Call” has been soundedÖ If anyone doesnít know what that is, you take at least three pills in a pill bottle and shake it in a poor, drug-addled neighborhood. Eventually, Ken realizes whatís going down, and looks at Graham in annoyance. ]

[ Lil ĎMan ]: “TIC-TACS!”

[ Ken ]: “Are you fucking serious? And no, those are not Tic-Tacs.”

[ Ross ]: “What? They’re just 5’s.”

[ Graham ]: “You said on EFedder you already sold them all!”

[ Ross ]: “I wanted to come to a friendly with the deal first, man!”

[ Graham ]: “Iím just going to put them on a fishing pole and dangle them in front of your Dad.”

[ Ken ]: “Youíre just going to pull out a bottle of pills in front of a rolling camera?”

[ Graham ]: “Shit! This video is going to get demonitized now!”

[ Ross turns towards the camera with a fourth-wall gesture. ]

[ Ross ]: “Thatís fine! It gives me plenty of time to plug the official sponsor for Graham Clauson promotional videos…Raid: Shadow Legends!”

[ …donít worry, audience, Iím doing enough booing for ALL OF US! #FUCKGRAHAMCLAUSON

Oh, thank God, we were saved by a small snap of white noise. Those of you, like me, who have YouTube Premium didnít have to deal with an actual ad for Raid: Shadow Legends! Things continue as if this horrible, evil aura of corporate mobile shovelware being the sponsor of this video didnít occur. ]

[ Ross ]: “Mini-Human, go hang out with Uncle Leglock for a minute. Uncle Asshole and I are going to talk business. Iíll see you before I go, okay?”

[ Lil Man ]: “Bye Dad! Bye Uncle Ass-hole!”

[ There it is again! Weíre going to get demonitized for the fact the kid keeps saying that word like that! Weíre walking the line of infringement at this point, get that kid to speech therapy! ]

[ Ken ]: “You stay right here with me, okay?”

[ Lil Man ]: “Leglock! I’ma put da-shotty in a leglock!”

[ Ken and Lil Man walk off, Lil Man apparently still trying to rap along to Kenís GCC walkout theme fades as they are further away, prompts Graham to let out an annoyed sigh. He then reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a $100 bill and slaps it into Rossís hand. Ross looks around, then clandestinely hands over the bottle while nobody is looking. Thereís no cameras in this fucking place because itís just display models. As long as you ainít trying to stuff a fucking duvet under your junk, nobody cares. Graham then pockets the bottle in one of the looser front pockets of his jeans. ]

[ Graham ]: “And Iím dead serious about what Iím doing to him once he recovers, and youíre going to watch that shit go down.”

[ Ross ]: “Watch? I’ll fucking help.”

[ Graham is taken by surprise. ]

[ Graham ]: “…yo, word?”

[ Ross ]: “Yeah. Fuck that piece of shit.”

[ The deadpanning and lack of typical Ross Hanson smile while saying these words only makes Grahamís bewilderment that much more amplified. ]

[ Graham ]: “Do tell?”

[ Ross ]: “Oh, definitely. I will, just ask me later when I’m not trying to hurry up across town before the gym closes.”

[ Graham has sudden realization which gym Ross is referring to. ]

[ Graham ]: “You didnít mention you were going over there to Ken, did you?”

[ Ross ]: “Nope. This time, the only one smartened up is you. Well, that and the person I bought this fake cameraman outfit from.”

[ Graham ]: “GoodÖ Minus your poor taste in disguise, may I remind you that itís bad enough I had to tag along with you to Livingston. I really donít want to have to watch my husband contemplate going over there with you so he can try to fuck a Ruskie – and not in the fun way, either.”

[ Ross ]: “Tell him to take a number. Only thing I care about right now is that I’m gonna tear that bitch in half and stuff her with green olives and San Marzano tomatoes.”

[ Graham ]: “Bro. That has to be the worst threat I have ever heard. Come on. I’m trying to work you up here so you don’t totally embarrass yourself going up against herÖ I almost worked a program with her in Britain, and Iím so fucking glad I avoided that bulletÖ Fucking ratings buzzkill, canít sell oil to Texaco but sure likes to check it.”

[ Ross ]: “I’m sorry, what’s that? The guy who actually sold being covered in ink is trying to warn me about embarrassing myself?”

[ Graham ]: “Yes, moron. I am. That’s because stupid shit gives birth to stupid shit. Austin Ramsey can’t do anything beyond stupid shit and being a petulant child, so I played along with his game. And that’s all that shit is. Just a game. But the bone you’re trying to chew, going after a fight with Gaia Galanos? That shit is for real, she donít fucking play. Go watch the tapes of her pretty much shooting on your dad for ten minutes, just because he got too fried and dropped her sunny side up botching a hurricanrana. He caught the fucking bean.”

[ Ross ]: “He had lung cancer and she knew it…and what about you? Do you actually, truly think that going after a whole company is going to get you anywhere? The only place it got you was the whole company going after you right back. You can’t just kick the door down, slam your dick on the table, and tell a bunch of people you’ve never met that it’s got three inches on everyone there or your money back! Of course someone is going to take you up on that and you know what? Someone’s probably gonna have a bigger dick than you! It’s just a fact of fucking life!”

[ Graham ]: “Don’t raise your voice to me, we are in a store!”

[ Ross ]: “It’s the fucking IKEA in Polaris Mall and you openly declared you were building a sex dungeon, after I just sold you a bottle of Vicodin that youíre claiming to use as a gag when I honestly think youíre going to have Ken blowdart those things up your ass as a local anesthesic. Nobody fucking cares.”

[ Silence – clearly, nobody cares as other customers just walk by like they didnít hear dick. Literally. ]

[ Graham ]: “And how very dare you, of course my cock is three inches bigger than everyone here.”

[ Silence. Nobody still cares. Must be those sweet 15% off deals on all bedroom suites. ]

[ Ross ]: “And even then, nobody cares. Just like how nobody cares about some dick measuring contest. ‘Oh look, I’ve been held down by the powers that be longer than you!’ Dude, you’re better than thatÖ.right? You said it yourself. You’ve given people fresh material for the past decade. So why are you doing the same gimmick you and Dad did when you teamed up 11 years ago?”

[ Graham ]: “It was my gimmick before your father decided he was on board, and I quote him: ĎGraham does a better me than I doí… So, what was that again, Kentucky Tarzan?”

[ Ross ]: “Let’s just change the subject.”

[ Graham ]: “To what? You just want to say some shit like that to me and expect me to just brush it off? Was it just an excuse to drink bourbon on camera, or do you really think youíre some backwoods hilljack ripping off some Elite gimmick when youíre from the fucking ghetto of Columbus?”

[ Ross ]: “If I wanted to drink bourbon on camera, I would have sat ringside for your match with the three greenhorns at the same time…but yeah man…I need to go over to the gym and handle some shit so I can get back, relieve you of your Lilí Man watching duties and go lay on the couch for a few days. Good luck figuring out how to beat a stable of new wave Goths.”

[ Graham ]: “Another day in the office, and Iím totally fine with it. Me, against the world…that’s the gimmick the world gave me, Ross.”

[ Graham begins to walk a few steps down towards the direction Ken and Lil Man went, but Graham stops and turns himself around. ]

[ Graham ]:That’s†the gimmick the world gave me. That, and apparently youíve taken your dadís cast slot on the vlog. You act just like him, even down to the cussing… ”

[ Ross ]: “That’s cool. At least I didn’t take my dad’s cock when I fired my best friend as my manager because he couldn’t be Ricky Morton for you anymore!”

[ Graham acts like he was just shot in the chest, but it was clearly for dramatic effect as he rolls his eyes at this inference from Ross, who just keeps going in. ]

[ Ross ]: “You wanna keep bringing family into this? Or do you wanna just stick to us being our own men, not our last names or our DNA? Fuck, I thought all you gay men understood that not all blood is family and not all family is blood! Or do you measure loyalty in how many inches you can feel?”,

[ Tension becomes clear between the two as Ross and Graham begin to step towards each other like they are going to get into each otherís face. ]

[ Lil Man ]: “Uncle Leglock! Daddy is about to put Uncle Ass-hole in a banana-bar!”

[ Both men stop in their tracks cold, looking over simultaneously to see Ken has Lil Man picked up and in his arms again. ]

[ Ken ]: “Thatís an armbar, buddy. And no, theyíve already committed several assaults to last for a week.”

[ Ross looks away, scratching his head. Graham actually looks embarrassed, his face reddened. ]

[ Graham ]: “…holí up. How much of that did you hear?”

[ Ken ]: “I heard from Ďmy cock is three inches bigger than everyone else hereí, and thatís a lie.”

[ Ross snickers and covers his mouth. ]

[ Graham ]: “…do you really have to put me on blast in front of the child?”

[ Ken ]: “Yes.”

[ Graham ]: “Look, the kid has to have somebody tough to look up to. At least I look like my daddy, he looks more like yours Ross.”

[ Ross ]: “Ha-ha…like they all havenít heard that one before. And you should quit while youíre ahead, Graham. Everyone knows no matter how much shit you say about Lil Man, youíd take a bullet for him.”

[ Graham looks at Lil Man, then at Ross, then at Ken. He then looks back at Lil Man and sticks his tongue out at him before pulling it back in and looking back at Ken. Ross looks down at his watch, realizing the time with wide eyes. ]

[ Ross ]: “Fuck! I gotta make tracks! Love you Mini-Human!”

[ Ross steps over to Lil Man and gives him a quick kiss on the head before he begins to swiftly make his way down the hall. ]

[ Graham ]: “You knowÖ When we get home, the Kidís getting boiled in a stewpot.”

[ Ken ]: “Yeah, I think you’d take a bullet for this kidÖ”

[ Graham ]: “Shut the fuck up and take that evil homonculus back to Father Oí White the drunken deathmatch priest…”

[ Graham and Ken look back, to find Ross is completely gone. ]

[ Graham ]: “Shit! He got away without his kid!”

[ Ken ]: “Lil Man, you want to go get some ice cream and then try to do pull-ups from Uncle Assholeís beard?”

[ Graham ]: “No! It took months to grow this shit in right, and you want to let him rip it out?!”

[ Lil Man ]: “YAAAAY!”

[ Graham returns the eye lasers back towards Ken as the kid tries to grab at Grahamís beard. Ken, smartly, steps slightly back to prevent it as the scene fades out to black. ]

 


—————-
“BOYS DONíT CRY”
—————-

[ However, the fade-out doesnít last long as it cuts back in, focused on Graham. We are in the infamous interrogation room that has been a fixture of his promos since his return in Outlaw. ]

[ Graham ]: “Notice that any time I talk shit on anyone, Iím always in this same room? Thereís a reason for that, but indulge me for a moment.

I walked into FIGHT Tower last week with two missions to complete. The first, find Austin Ramsey and shove a roll of copier paper up his virgin asshole. The second, get Fuzz back for ending my dominance in the Blood Money match and show him that Dickie getting the best of him was his destiny.

Started out as a great night for me, since Iím the only one here thatís going to even give myself any credit. At first, it appeared that I finally had taken out the trash that Todrick refuses to throw out himself. I mean, this guy is supposed to be a professional wrestler, and I swear it was like heís the dumb bitch in a horror movie waiting to get killed. But somehow, even after basically throwing him down two flights of stairs, this homie gets up and somehow finds the energy to cover me in toner dust and beat me with a scanner?! RUBBING ALCOHOL, AUSTINÖ LOTS OF RUBBING ALCOHOLÖ You owe me $3.50, you asshole…

And I maintain that Austin Ramsey needs to be screened for drugs, specifically bath salts or methamphetamines, because that is not natural. No one should scream like a little bitch after getting beat with a fucking lacrosse stick, be thrown down two flights of steps, basically bust their orbital, and be able to get up and walk afterwards. Not even kayfabe can cause you to walk that shit off that quick, bruh. I didnít even walk off the four-on-one beatdown that I endured like that. Todrick, youíre letting your man slide, and itís not pretty. Itís honestly trashy that you keep a Treasure Island Media roster member as a husband.”

[ For those of you who donít know what Treasure Island Media is, only go there if youíre not the faint of heart and donít give a shit about men being whores. Youíve been warned, Austin probably is one of their models legit. El oh hell, thatís fucking Brisk, even for the almighty Narrator. ]

[ Graham ]: “I was told weeks ago that I didnít have the numbers, and I proved people wrong when that was said to me. You see, it took four people last time to try to keep me down when this place was running under the Outlaw banner. If you remember correctly, and judging by our viewership ratings you wouldn’t, all four failed even when trying to go after me at the same fucking time. But now, weíre under the FIGHT banner, and Iíve got four people standing opposite of me who wish to ensure that I stay below them on the food chain. It seems like there is weakness in your numbers. Especially when everyone combined still couldnít add up to a three countÖ

But, didnít I call this out last week like a prediction? I said weíre living on repeat. Remember how I said how Iím still stuck here in this interrogation room doing these promos? The repetition is coming true… isnít it? This time, weíre on a later track in the album. We may have left the Outlaw name, but it doesnít feel any different…does it?”

[ Graham stops for a moment, then raising a hand with his index finger up in revelation, but not for himself. ]

[ Graham ]: “Youíre damn right, folks! We are†on repeat again! Call me Nostradamus, call me the Dirt Sheet! Hell, call me Bryan fuckiní Alvarez, because this shit is minus fucking five stars and Dave Meltzer would agree!”

[ Another pause, Grahamís eyes wide and clearly he is incensed. Heís clearly insulted. ]

[ Graham ]: “Weíre supposed to be moving forward, X, not backwards! You are even making casuals cry at this fiasco youíre booking! I thought thatís what your wife was preaching to you before you took over this joint, hmm? But no, here we are, Graham Clauson in another single-versus-stable situation! You didnít learn shit from JohnnyÖ You became Johnny.

Youíre killing this company by booking this shit and insulting the intelligence of your viewers. These smart marks arenít dumb, X! They see right through it, and it isnít because Iím doing some major exposť – they all know this shitís fake anyway! All they have to do is click on fucking WrestleTalk and they know exactly what the fuck is going on before we even tape the shit!

This isnít some underdog come-up story, but another attempt at a slow burial of who I am and who Iím supposed to be in this business. Itís Ďnot like thatí, but yet you all keep finding ways to make sure itís Ďlike thatí. Even smart marks know when good talent is held down. You sent no less than six different people after me and every single one of them had to catch a ride from the EMTs.

I am still more relevant than Vincent Black on a good day. Sober.”

[ Graham smirks as he knows that anyone whoís subscribed to this bullshit is waiting for a Vhodka joke. ]

[ Graham ]: “What, thought Iíd say Vhodka Black? Sheís not even relevant enough to make a joke about even being more relevant than, but I can’t leave you all hanging.† I mean, didnít she and VooDoo die for…like…two episodes straight now? What is this shit? Do 1-Up mushrooms grow from out of the cheese underneath Vinnyís ballsack? You need to wash that shit, I just almost wretched at the thought and Iím the one who wrote it down as a punchline to use on a rainy day.

But this time, the overlords of the FIGHT Tower send Brandon to be the guy who doesnít let the IWC have their cake and eat it in this incarnation. He says Iím Ďnot the standardí, but he had to involve himself in my match? He couldnít have had the balls to say it some other time and deal with the consequences then? No, in all reality, he couldnít. You couldnít do that on your own, Brandon, and thatís what makes you pathetic. You can run around acting like a fucking Emo Edgelord through the hallways of the fucking tower all you want. The moment you come after me? Thatís when you fucked yourself.

Because had it not been for you, I would have achieved my second goal. I would have beaten Shawn ĎCome On And Slam And Welcome Back To The Same Damn Jamí Warstein, who once again found himself the luckiest man in the main event of whatever company he’s in this month. Once again, he can take that win and use it as contract leverage to get sweeter deals, sweeter spots on the card that he hasn’t earned, and sweet Twitter whores who don’t think it didn’t really happen if someone didn’t Tweet about it. And Shawn Warstein has not and will not ever admit on Twitter that he should give half his win to you. Or that it didn’t do him any good after all, seeing as how I’m booked in the main event and he’s booked to watch it from his living room after he escaped the wrestling equivalent of a gangbang – and youíd think Iíd like that shit. But no, I actually donít†like having four people beat the shit out of me, thatís a damn mugging.

But Iím always stuck dealing with the piling of bullshit upon me. I don’t have the time to make a bunch of the obvious jokes about The Cure, so I’m not even going to try. At least not yet. I’m honestly not in a joking mood when it comes to B-Whore. Let him sacrifice teenage girls to the ghost of GG Allin and think that’s going to sell tickets to a wrestling event. That’s a bigger joke than anything I could come up with even if I let IT the Clown brick in my mouth before I cut this promo, or when you thought wearing that melty Slipknot mask was a great fashion choice. If anything, hit rewind, flip and reverse on that and melt your actual face instead with acid.

Also, a bit of feedback: No one wanted to see your take on the Katie Vick angle, bro. You should be a eunuch for that nasty shit.”

[ …did this dude just invoke the most disgusting event of 2002 in this promo? It was easily the grossest thing in 2003, and it didnít even happen then. ]

[ Graham ]: “You can stuff a hundred kittens in a burlap sack, dedicate their souls to Odin, and it wouldn’t make a difference. I can do everything to you that you like to do to your ring rats with my bare hands. I donít need chemicals, or gang beatdowns. Another pussy hiding behind a group, a dime-a-dozen trait in this business, that when you make them fight fair don’t know how to fight. And I don’t even fight fair. I just fight fair compared to whiny woe-as-me bastards like you and The Cure.

Either way, X at least knows I belong headlining his shows, so Iíll entertain this delusional booking for the simple fact Iím going to make Brandon eat his own words on prime-time television. He knows that the moment the bell rings, itís not going to be a typical wrestling match. And thatís what makes this interesting, because Iím not coming to wrestle you, Brandon. Iím coming to make you pay for getting in my way. You may not feel pain, but youíll do something…

And X? If things get unsportsmanlike? Let it happen. Iím not crying about what happened. Iím just going to get even. The Cure is nothing but black eyeliner and whining, and Iím honestly glad that GCC has been on hiatus with fights because I havenít had to deal with having to run around with Liz and Eoin…especially Eoin. Have any of you seen how he walks? Itís like he has a fucking turd in his fucking pants at all times and heís trying to keep it from touching his asscheeks. And if Eoin or anyone else of The Cure thinks it’s going to be a smart idea getting involved, Iím going to take said turd out of Eoinís pants and shove it down their throats. You can eat shit as well as eat your words.

Either way, Brandonís going to cry through his mask…like the fucking clown he is.

Iím going to end his career just like you all have been trying to end mine before it even started.

And none of you are going to stop me. Not even cops.”

[ The promo ends with a fade-in to white noise…and faintly through the static, the Raid: Shadow Legends logo can be seen with a demonic laugh also being faintly heard. ]