I Do

By: Ophelia Pain

Date: 26th Aug 2021

This is a mistake…

Shut up…

You’re trembling because you know I’m right…

I’m trembling because I’m about to get married and I’m afraid I’m going to trip and break something…

I can see into your mind, Ophelia…you’re freaking out because you know this is an impulsive decision that you’re going to regret…

You’re wrong…you’re trying to convince me that this isn’t what I want because you’re afraid that with LC around permanently, you’re going to fade away…

Murder fell silent and I took a deep breath. The lace on the back of my dress tickled my when I moved and I did my best to ignore it. I looked down at my bouquet and smiled. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath when suddenly, a soft violin started, playing the melody for “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” by Elvis Presley. I could already feel the corner of my eyes starting to burn and a lump forming in my throat…this is it…

No turning back…

The doors of the chapel opened and there he was, wearing a gray suit jacket, pants to match, and crisp white Jordans, smiling from ear to ear at me. I felt hot tears fall onto my cheeks as I took a step towards my happily ever after…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~6 HOURS EARLIER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate this one too…

You’ve hated all of them so far!

We were on hour 3 of dress shopping and I was starving. I text Jeffree last night to get the plane ready for Vegas and, jokingly, he text me back ‘Book the Chapel finally?’…the resulting FaceTime call was full of tears, planning, and squealing so loud that Walter came in the room with a bat to put whatever animal we were torturing out of its misery. We told him the plan and he, in his own way, was more than happy for us. He said he’d skip Vegas, but would have a nice dinner with us when we got back. He even promised to wear a tie.

He hugged us both and told LC that if he broke my heart that he had 300 acres and they would never find him. LC chuckled, but Walter never broke eye contact. I was the one thing they could both agree on…I deserved the world and they would destroy anyone who thought otherwise.
Soon after that, we were on the plane from Nashville to Vegas. I felt really bad for the flight crew because I don’t think I’ve thrown up quite that much since my first stint in rehab. I think it was a mixture of nerves and excitement…and of course, as soon as we started packing, Murder was voicing her disdain…

You know if you get married in Vegas, its legally binding right?! It’s not like…a fake wedding…

I’m well aware, Murder…

So you’re aware you going to legally marry a complete toolbag?

No, Murder…WE’RE going to legally marry LC…

I’m not marrying shit!!

Remember our last heart to heart? I’m you and you’re me? That goes for everything, sweet cheeks…just like you and I, LC and I are about to be til death…which means YOU and LC will be til death…

I hate you…

Then put us both out of our misery and go away…

She fell silent while I finished packing our bag. I wasn’t sure if it was out of frustration or fear, but the quiet was nice…especially since the following flight was full of nervous puking and happy crying…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I kind of hate you in white…

I do too…it washes me out…

Have you thought about-

No…the red hair stays…

You’re just so much prettier blonde!

I like my red hair…plus LC likes it…

Fine…try this one…

I whined as my stomach grumbled painfully…I grabbed the satin fluffy hanger and went behind the white curtain to slip the dress on. It was delicate, lace, 3/4 length sleeve, off white A-line cocktail dress. I slipped it over my head and realized the back was cut out. There was a line of 3 small buttons at the top of the cutout and a short zipper right at the base of my spine. The sales attendant buttoned me up and slid the zipper closed. I covered my eyes, as was now the standard, and stepped out…I heard Jeffree audibly gasp as the curtain opened.

Oh Ophelia…

I was lead in front of the large mirror. I took a deep breath and uncovered my eyes, audibly gasping myself…

Holy shit…

The dress was beautiful on the hanger, but on my body, the dress was so much more than a dress. I immediately saw a daisy petal covered aisle leading the way up to Lewis, smiling that wide toothed grin that makes me melt. I felt the corners of my eyes start to prickle with tears and I turned around to look at Jeffree…

This is it…

That’s the dress…you look like someone’s wife!

Jeffree was crying with his hand over his mouth. I twirled around and stopped to look at myself again…I didn’t want to take the dress off. Seeing myself in a wedding dress made my heart pound in the most exciting way. He was right…I looked like someone’s wife. Plus it was always fun for me to dress up in something other than my standard hightops, skinny jeans, and graphic t-shirt.

I don’t want to take it off! I want to wear this every day!!

Well…you have to take it off because your clumsy ass will drop barbecue sauce on it or something…

I pouted a bit, but he was right…plus I didn’t want to get married with a stain on my dress…

Before I knew it, I was whisked away and taken out of my dress, signing the purchase receipt, and back in my t-shirt and jeans. Jeffree sent the dress off to the chapel and sent me to get my nails and toes done. He promised he would pick me out some sensible shoes to go with my dress…it was difficult for me to relax while tiny women massaged my feet and hands. It had nothing to do with nerves about getting married, it was more so about whether or not LC was sure he wanted to marry me.

I had spent a lot of the flight telling LC things about my past that he didn’t know already. He kept asking me why I was telling him this…and honestly I wasn’t sure. I just wanted to let him know what he was getting himself in to. He knows that I’m a recovering addict…he knows I did some things that I wasn’t proud of to fund my habit…but he didn’t know about my record…

He didn’t know that I got kicked out of my first rehab facility for selling heroin. He didn’t know that I spent 2 and a half years in a federal prison for trying to bring cocaine back from Columbia. He knew that I had been sterilized at the height of my drug use, but didn’t know that I’ve regretted it ever since I got clean. I needed to know that he was okay with us never being able to have children…

“Babe…we’re still kids ourselves…besides…we have Tilly…we’ve already got the best and worst parts of having kids…she throws tantrums like a baby, but is still cool enough sometimes to hang out with like a teenager…”

I knew at that exact moment, that this man is my future. I knew that if he referred to Tilly as “ours” and “WE” have Tilly, his heart and his head were both in this. And I realized that I had never loved someone the way I loved this man in front of me…

You barely know each other…

I’m so sick of everyone thinking that they know what’s best for us…I was with Tommy for so many fucking years and he spent most of them either cheating on me or too drunk to know what he was putting it in…

Then Jayson who pretended to be my friend for all those years and then acted like he owned me when I gave him a shot…

Years don’t make love any more or less valid…LC loves me and I love him…and now we’re getting married and that’s that…

I just hope one of you comes to their senses before you have to get a divorce…an annulment is much cheaper and less time consuming…

I rolled my eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. I hadn’t been as sure of anything recently as I am about marrying Lewis. I know that everyone is worried about the luster of a wedding and being a bride…but I was okay with Vegas because I didn’t need a big wedding…I didn’t need to stand in front of 300 people that I barely knew and profess my love for him…I didn’t need to pay for 300 dinners for people that wouldn’t eat or deal with people bitching about not having an open bar…

Today was about Lewis and I…and that’s what we wanted…just him and I…that’s all that matters…

I was drawn out of my train of thought by my phone buzzing in my hand. I unlocked it to find ‘I love you’ scrawled across the screen. A large grin spread across my face as I pulled my shirt away from my chest, snapped a pic, and sent it back with ‘I love you more’. My phone then buzzed again and a picture of Jeffree popped up…I answered…

Hey-

Where the hell are you?!

Uhm…paying for my nails…why? What’s wrong?

Do you realize what time it is?!

Uhm…a quarter after 3?

You need to get your ass to this Chapel right now! Do you realize how long its going to take to get you ready?!

Jeffree, I don’t need to get spend 3 hours getting ready…

Find a mirror and look in it…

I turned and looked at the mirror on the wall behind the cash register. My hair was flat, my skin was dull, and I was wearing my glasses…

Alright, I’m on my way…

Good…there is a car waiting…tell him to hurry up and I’ll pay his speeding ticket…

The line went dead and I walked out to a black car waiting for me. I slid in and we headed towards a small romantic little chapel on a ritzier part of the strip. I got out and walked in to a team that whisked me into the back of the chapel. They began brushing and styling my hair, moisturizing and beating my face, and shaving my legs. The next 2 and a half hours was a flurry of activity around me…when I had finally gotten a moment to think, I was standing naked in a dressing room, wearing a garter belt and my heels. I stood staring at the dress I had fallen in love with just a few hours ago, but it felt like days.

I slipped the dress on and stood staring at myself, feeling like my future and my past were staring at each other. I marveled at how far I had come from the person I used to be…I touched my shoulder length red hair, full of shine and curl where it was once dull, mousy, and lifeless…my skin was glowy and radiant where it was once gray and sickly looking…my green eyes looked like emeralds shining in my head…they’d never been so beautiful and full of hope…

I allowed my eyes to look over a body that I had grown to love over the years…a body that I had spent most of my life hating…a body that was just a burden and a tool that I was trying to destroy…I sighed happily and there was a soft knock on the door. Jeffree stepped in the room…he was wearing a crushed velvet black suit and a hot pink thin neck tie over his white shirt. His pumps were hot pink to match his lips and tie. He looked handsome and beautiful at the same time.

He stood next to me and linked his arm in mine, letting his head fall against the side of mine…

We’d make a cute couple…

Yeah…but there’s a V where you need a P…plus we’re both wayyyyyyyy too fucked mentally to have a stable relationship…

True that….you ready?

Born ready…

I can’t believe you’re getting married…

Same…I’m trying so hard to not freak out…

You guys are meant for each other…I can see it when he looks at you…

Oh? How does he looks at me?

The way he looks at you…its the way everyone hopes the person they spend the rest of their life with looks at them…

Awwww…Jeffree! I’m gonna blehhhhhhhh

I made fake vomit noises and he pushed me gently…

Shut up! He loves you…like…with his whole heart and you can just see it…

You sound like you approve?

He’s not the worst…

I laughed loudly and hugged my friend. I couldn’t believe that he had assembled a team to get me ready so quickly, but it was Jeffree…he could call a favor in from the Mob and I think they would be happy to do it, telling him “This one’s on us”…

Jeffree checked his watch and smiled…

Its time…you sure you’re ready?

I nodded, feeling my throat get thick and painful. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…you’ll ruin your makeup…

You better not start whining and ruin my masterpiece…

I swear he could read my thoughts…he turned picked the small lace veil off the side of the mirror and fashioned it in the bump of hair on top of my head. It barely tickled my shoulders and made me look positively ethereal…he grinned widely at me, turned around, and took a bouquet of pink and white daisies out of the vase next to the door. It was bound delicately with lace and satin ribbon, with a small black bejeweled skull broach pinned to the bow on the front…it was perfect…

Jeffree…

I know…I know…don’t puke…don’t run…take your time down the aisle…and for God’s sake don’t fall…

Well if you wanted me steady on my feet, maybe you should’ve given me flats instead of heels…

My best friend is NOT getting married in flats…now shut up…lets go get your man…

He squeezed my hand and left the room. I turned around and looked at the beautiful bride in the mirror. The butterflies in my stomach were going insane…Murder was screaming at me that it was a mistake over and over again, which wasn’t doing much for my anxiety. I took my place in front of the closed chapel doors and waited….

The violins started, the doors opened, and there he was. My prince charming smiling at me in gray…when I looked at his face, the butterflies went away…the nerves…the anxiety melted away as I walked toward him and his smile…the smile that weakened my knees and made my heart pound…the smile that assured me in my heart that everything was alright…

Every step I took…bringing me closer to my forever…I got to the alter where Jeffree and Lewis stood, both smiling at me from ear to ear…

Wow….

I know…

He chuckled at me and brushed my hair behind my ear…I heard Jeffree scoff and when we turned towards the alter, he pulled the hair back out, muttering something about his masterpiece…

Dearly Beloved…we are gathered here in the sight of God and whatever you believe to celebrate the union of Ophelia Grace Pain and Lewis Chad Pinkston. Though they haven’t known each other long, both can agree that they cannot imagine life without the other. I was just telling Ophelia as she got ready that I could see forever in Lewis’ eyes every time he looks at her…and I can see that Lewis is Ophelia’s light in the dark.
As this union was spur of the moment, the couple hasn’t had time to write their own vows, but-

I have…

You what?

I wrote something…

Oh…uhm….okay…as this union was spur of the moment, the COUPLE hasn’t written their own vows, but ever the prepared one, Ophelia has something she would like to read to Lewis…Ophelia?

I took a deep breath and pulled a small, crumpled piece of paper out of my bra and unfolded it. I looked up at LC who looked adorably bewildered…

Lets see if I can get through this without crying…

LC…about a month ago I was perfectly fine being single, hitting on random dudes on Twitter, knowing full well that, in my heart, I wanted more. It wasn’t until you and I started flirting back and forth that I realized that I wanted more from you…I was happy flirting and talking, but I wanted to meet you…and when I met you, I wanted to be with you…and when I was with you, I knew I wanted to be standing here, in this exact spot, saying yes to the forever in your eyes…I’ve known since the moment we kissed what my heart was missing…and it was you.

I promise to love you through everything…win, lose, or draw…even if you have to use a blue turtle shell to beat me…I promise to love you when you’ve put my friends on The Bitch List. I promise to love you when you eat the last of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I promise to love you on the good days and the bad…I promise to love you when we’re both too old to get dates…and most of all, I promise to love you until I take my last breath. I love you, LC. I promise to spend the rest of my life making you the happiest man in the Universe. That’s what you deserve…

He blinked hard as he looked at me. He looked away and cleared his throat…

Good speech babe…

I smiled and folded the piece of paper back up and went to tuck it into my bra, but he reached out and grasped my hand holding the paper. He took it and put it in his pocket. Jeffree cleared his throat and we turned back to face him.

Now for the good stuff…please take each other’s hands and look each other in the eye…

He took my bouquet from me and set it in a vase behind him. I turned and LC took my hands in his, both of us smiling as we gazed…

Do you Lewis Pinkston take Ophelia Pain to be your lawfully wedded wife…to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in manic episodes and breakdowns, for as long as you both shall live?

I do…

And do you, Ophelia Pain take Lewis Pinkston to be your lawfully wedded husband…to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in party times and hang overs, for as long as you both shall live?

Hell yes I do!

We all laughed and I wiped a few tears that had fallen on to my cheeks. LC raised one of my hands to his lips and kissed the back of it…

Rings?

Oh fuck…we forgot rings?!

Y’all thought I forgot the rings…

He pulled a ring box out of his pocket, opened it and handed one to each of us…

Lewis…you first…repeat after me…Ophelia, I give you this ring as a symbol of my undying and never-ending love for you…

Ophelia, I give you this ring as a symbol of my undying and never-ending love for you…

With it, I promise to love you, cherish you, and stand by you in good times and bad, sickness and health, for as long as I live…

With it, I promise to love you, cherish you, and stand by you in good times and bad, sickness and health, for as long as I live…

He slipped the dainty silver band with 3 saphires embedded in it on my left hand ring finger…I should have know Jeffree would know exactly what would make me swoon when I saw it…

Ophelia…your turn…Lewis, I give you this ring as a symbol of my undying and never-ending love for you…

Lewis, I give you this ring as a symbol of my undying and never-ending love for you…

With it, I promise to love you, cherish you, and stand by you in good times and bad, sickness and health, for as long as I live…

With it, I promise to love you, cherish you, and stand by you in good times and bad, sickness and health, for as long as I live…

I slipped the black and silver band on his left hand ring finger, the lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it. He smiled and sniffled, once again turning his face away to clear his throat.

Ophelia and Lewis…having proclaimed your love, devotion, and commitment for one another in sight of myself and the couple that owns this chapel, by the power vested in me by TheMonastary.org, it is my distinct and greatest pleasure to pronounce you man and wife, you may-oh….damn…okay….

LC had attacked me before Jeffree could even finish his sentence. He kissed me so deeply and so passionately that I was a little upset he hadn’t kissed me like this before…but to be fair, I’d never promised him my life before…

When we finally came up for air, Jeffree was laughing and throwing daisy petals at us, whooping and hollering…

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Pinkston!

LC scooped me up in his arms and rushed me out of the chapel, with Jeffree telling the couple that owned the chapel not to follow us…he was right…because we barely made it into the dressing room before my dress was hiked up and LC’s hips were holding me against the wall…

After furious knocking on the door by Jeffree and furious knocking of boots, we had emerged from the dressing room, slightly disheveled, for our pictures…

I couldn’t stop looking at LC. He looked so handsome and wonderful…and he was my husband. He was my always and my forever. I couldn’t stop smiling…