Priorities, Memories and Family. Oh, my!
By: Druscilla White
Date: 29th Sep 2021
”Kachanie!” Her voice carried surprisingly well, so much so it startled Reaper. I heard the front door slam and braced for the attack. ”Kachanie! Why you mean to Henry?” I sat up in bed, growled softly as I tossed the covers off and slipped into my robe. ”Fucks sake Mama, you storm in at 5 in the fucking morning to rip my ass about Henry?” The older woman narrowed her eyes on me. ”Kachanie, where chip come? Hmm? Has Mama not taught you kind?” I scoffed softly. “No, as a matter of fact, you didn’t. You gave us up, remember? All they taught me was to trust no one and that I was fucking worthless…” I saw her frame shrink, I saw the blood drain from her face. Now I felt like an asshole. I cut her deeper than I ever had. ”Mama… I…” I tried to stop her, but she turned and walked out of my bedroom. I could feel her sorrow. ”Kachanie, Mama try. Mama try, Mama fail but Mama try. Yes?” She sounded weak, I had never in the years I knew this woman heard her sound anything but what she was. A powerhouse.
”Mama is why you hurt. Mama is why you doubt, yes.” My breath caught in my chest, I reached out to her but she pulled back. “Maybe Mama stay away, yes.” I grabbed her hand, tightly, in my own and shook my head. ”No… I’m sorry. I was a bitch… I never should have…” She cut me off, placing a finger over my lips. ”Hush now, Kachanie, Mama make mistake. Mama make right.” I wiped the tears from her eyes… ”No, Mama, I was a bitch. I said things out of anger, I’m not.. Mad at you, or at Henry or even Diesel. Okay? I’m mad at myself.” I let go of her hand and walked to the patio door, looking out over the park. She came to stand behind me, I could feel how badly she wanted to grab me.
”I know I’m fucked up, I know I push people away. I always have. No excuse for it, but it’s kept me alive.” Reaper and Hel came out of the bedroom and each perched on their respective towers, watching us intently. I pressed my forehead to the cold glass and closed my eyes. I fought back the tears, choking down the emotions. Like I always did. I never let myself Feel. ”Kachanie, no, no, you no fucked up… Kachanie strong, beautiful, Kachanie powerful.” Her words, ones I had wanted to hear my whole life, felt so awkward. As she grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a backwards hug, the tears started to flow.
”Kachanie, what priorities? Hmm? Family. Yes. Club. Yes. Business. Yes. Wrestling. Yes. But where you? Hmm? Where Kachanie fit?” She spoke softly, tenderly. She stroked my hair softly, like a mother would her child to soothe them. Part of me wanted to run. Part wanted to stay. Both halves are stuck in cement. I didn’t know what to do. I look around my home and I see how far I’ve come. From the dregs of despair to a high rise penthouse to prison to the country and back to the horizon. I’ve flown. I’ve fallen. I’ve clawed my way back to the sky.
”You know where I fit, Mama.” I whispered, fighting so hard to not cry. I couldn’t cry. I had just come off a win against the Zombie chick. I was looking down the barrel at a major fight at our company’s pay-per-view, Tara’s charity cruise and that was just the beginning. I had to remain the stoic one. I had to.
”Kachanie, you keep promise, yes. Danny proud. Mama know.” She kissed the top of my head and yanked me from the window and over to the couch. Just the mention of Danny was enough to set me off lately. He had been such a pivotal motivation in my life. The reason I stood against death and won. Hell, that promise to him is why I challenged The Doll. For him. Well, also I just simply didn’t like her. But mostly for Daniel.
”Look Mama, my first priority will always be keeping that promise to Danny. I swore to him. And when he died… I.. I can’t let him down.” She scowled at me. ”Is he worth dying?” I clenched my jaw, the fire in my tongue burning a hole through my lips… But I pulled back. ”Yes.” I whispered again, looking at the photograph of my older brother on the bookshelf. ”Yes. I would fucking die to keep that promise. That is priority one. Even working for Gotti, keeping the promise to Danny is what kept me going.”
Mama sighed, softly. ”Where Kachanie fit?” ”Dead Last.” She growled a bit. ”No. Kachanie care for Kachanie. Kachanie need be next… No less.” I shook my head, reaching into my stash and grabbing a joint. After I lit and took a drag, I looked her dead in the eyes. ”No, Danny’s promise comes first, then family, the club, wrestling, my businesses and maybe if I have the energy; me.” She lit a clove cigarette and sighed. “Kachanie, all nothing without Kachanie. Whodka agree. Henry agree. Kachanie care for Kachanie. Before anything.”
I knew she was right. Damn her. She was always right. Fuck, if she knew I already had been booked for my next match, she’d be driving me insane about that. Though, my luck, Henry would be barging in at some point. Not sure why, I’d faced Eoin before and beat his ass. And that was in a damned three way match. O’Rourke was fucked. ”Kachanie, why mean to Henry? Hm? He love Kachanie. He help Kachanie. He train. Henry strong. Like Kachanie.”
”I get it Mama, but I do things my way. Always have, always will. I know Henry is a good man, Mama, but.. I just.. I can’t.” Mama sighed, glaring at me. I knew she was pissed, I knew I wasn’t telling her what she wanted to hear, but when did I ever? ”Kachanie, let Henry in. He no leave. Mama no leave. Kachanie have family.” It was at that point my door burst open, yet again, and slammed shut. Henry stormed in. ”What is this I hear about you fighting in the middle of Hearst Tower?” I blinked. Seriously? Was I getting in trouble for something I DID NOT start?! And how the fuck did Mama predict that? What is this sorcery??
”Hey! Now what the fuck?? I did not start shit!” I growled, pointing my finger at Henry, which happened to be holding my joint. ”But you fought a girl.” He was judging me, are you kidding me?? ”Look, Henry, she fucking hit me first. All I did was defend myself.” He glared. ”Don’t swear.” I rolled my eyes. ”This is the girl you’re fighting at the pay-per-view, am I right, Pip?” I rolled my eyes yet again and nodded. ”Yes, sir.” ”Fine. You fired a warning shot. Good.” ”Sure, if that’s what you wanna call it.” Mama walked into my kitchen and I could smell her start brewing coffee and making breakfast. My stomach growled, loudly.
”Pip, you can’t be so quick to fight. Even that girl. Save it for the show.” He knelt down beside me, tipped his fedora back on his head and half smiled. Ugh, why? Why did these two have to be so.. So damned, well, nice? Sure, they were my biological parents, but neither held that over me. But they did push me, like parents should.
”But let’s focus here. Have you heard of this Eoin O’Rourke?” I blinked. Wide-eyed. ”Oh! Kachanie fight him! Japan, yes? Kachanie fight well!” Mama poked her head in and I sighed. ”Yeah.. Him. I fought him when we were in OPW, International Incident I think it was called. It was a three way match for a title shot.” Henry nodded. ”And?” ”And what? I won. I walked away with the briefcase allowing me a shot at any title I wanted… but OPW closed shortly after that.” ”So then it’s moot. Sure, you won, but that company closed. Fight is brand new. Treat this match with Eoin that way.” I took a drag from my joint and sighed, rubbing my temple a bit. ”Whatever you say, Henry.”
I knew I needed to focus. Eoin could be a contender, but I also knew his weak sides. My only concern would be if his fuck buddies in The Cure decided to intercede on his behalf. That’s happened before. Now, when it did it was a toss up as to who it helped. But I will say, my Wolves never interrupted unless it was a lumberjack match. They knew the rules.
Henry kept blathering on about strategy and how I needed to keep my focus honed in, I heard probably every third or fourth word, to be honest. My eyes were on the prize. And Eoin was merely a stepping stone to that prize. Literally, I could use his face to stand upon as I rose above The Cure.
”Pip… Are you listening?” I blinked a few times, coming back to the real world; with Henry directly in my face. I spazzed a bit, flailing my arms for him to back off before I took the final hit from my joint. “Whoa, back up…” I hissed. Mama’s head popped back in and she glared at me. ”…. Please?” I added, she arched a brow at me and stepped back into the kitchen. I could smell bacon. Again, my stomach growled. Louder. ”Pip, you need to fo-” I stopped him. “I got it. Focus. I know. Trust me.”
I stood up, right as my front door all but shattered open as Diesel, Roscoe, Memphis and a few newer patches fell in. They smelled food. Mama laughed as she began to set the large dining table. Her Belarusian felt like home to me, and the boys agreed. Each one piled into a chair as Henry helped me stand and we walked to the dining room together. I sat at the head of the table. Mama to my left, Henry to my right. I looked out over my family, my pack… and I sighed. A lot of them had packed up their lives to follow me. Some, this was their first family and home. All because of me. And I was letting them down, I think. I felt like I was. I put them before me, because of their importance.
As Mama began to fill everyone’s plates, passing them down the line, I watched how Henry followed her. They were opposites, certainly, but their love spanned decades, and they fit. They complement one another perfectly. Where she moved left, he followed. If she looked up, his eyes sparkled. It was something to strive for, but that was out of my reach. A love like that, in all the books, in all the movies, in all the radio shows, it meant the end. I wasn’t ready for an end. I had just begun. I had just started to live.
I looked back on my life, the pains, the hate… Where it led me to. I came to New York when I was a teen. Living on my own; working for whom I did. The torture I suffered. The lies. The deceit. The near-misses. Losing who I was, and who I wanted to be. Meeting Mama, Dane and the rest of the muppets. Even Katya…
I tumbled further, seeing Priscilla born.. And leaving with Royal. Meeting the person who’d become my end; allowing me to fall not only in love but also down that damned rabbit hole. Where I landed in prison, having met Robi, who not only changed my life, but I think truly saved me. I don’t think I’d have survived without her. I’d be lost without the people in my life now.
From the club to the bayou, to starting my first company to even my first wrestling contract. That woman was instrumental in so much. I owed her who I was. Truly. I watched her for years. How she juggled the club, business, her wrestling and her family. She was a master. While I did learn a lot from her, I seemed to have lacked the ability to juggle these things. I tried, but I ultimately always dropped one or more…
The gang had begun discussing my current match, against Eoin and it made me smile, but at the same time, it made me sad. Was that all we could talk about? Were there no other topics on deck? Was I just Dru the wrestler? Or…
But then it hit me. Like a ton of fucking bricks. I was juggling these facets of who I was, and I was doing so effortlessly. I was everything. I was Dru the biker. Dru the wrestler. Dru the businesswoman. Dru the daughter. Dru the club president. I was Dru. I was everything I needed to be. Hearing my Wolves talk about my matches, I now knew why. They had tons to talk about but they chose my career because they were proud. They were proud to be under the Wolves banner that flew every single time I stepped in the ring.
Their pride was my pride. My heart ached; not in a bad way, but it felt as if it would burst. My inner turmoil was normal; especially given what I had suffered and accomplished in my life. But these brutes, these heathens… They were who I stepped in the ring for. They were who I defended and fought for. My glory was theirs. Their pains were mine.
We were a family, through and through, and we all had Robi to thank for that. And Mama. Without her… I don’t even want to think about that. That woman saved me more times than I cared to admit. Some of the scars I bore, she sewed up. She extracted bullets. Arrow tips. Whatever shit I had slogged through, she cleaned me up. Priorities were a bitch, man. Fuck.
If it is important, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse. True enough.
And I found my way, mother fuckers.
I would step in that ring Saturday and stand toe to toe with Eoin O’Rourke; For Mama. For the Wolves.”Look guys..”
Everyone looked up from the feast, at me. Some with forks at the ready to eat, others with food in their mouths. The whole penthouse was silent. Waiting for me to finish speaking. Mama had worked her magic in the kitchen this morning. And all for her family. Mama was a powerhouse. Perhaps she was The powerhouse behind the scenes that kept this show rolling…”I just wanted to say…”
And the scene faded away with the lingering smell of coffee, orange juice, eggs, bacon, zacirka, draniki and even grechaniki.
I was in one of the conference rooms in Hearst Tower. At the head of a long table. Was I going to get in trouble for sneaking in? Probably. Did I give a fuck? None to give. This place owed me this much. Miss F owed me. Plus, I had a teeny bit of standing with Vincent, apparently. Who knew that was what it took to gain his respect, had I known that, I’d have attacked her much sooner. Maybe then the damned bologna and funyun incident wouldn’t have happened… Eh, Doubtful. That man was full of shenanigans. Especially where Vhodka was concerned…
But I digress…
”Remember me, Eoin?” I grinned sadistically. ”It’s ok if you don’t, here… Maybe this will help.” Behind me, a screen started playing footage from OPW’s International Incident pay-per-view…
[ Taj Escobar ]: Yeah, Eoin O’Rourke looks like his mind is made up and what follows is most likely going to be the most painful moments of Druscilla White’s brief stint here in Outlaw Pro Wrestling…
The fans are booing as Eoin O Rourke steadily climbs the ladder and seems to be struggling to unhook the briefcase from the latch…
He rests the briefcase on the top of the ladder as the fans suddenly enthusiastically roar with approval as Eoin’s eyes look down to see Druscilla White directly beneath him. His hands lunge for the black briefcase but Druscilla slams his arm in between his legs and Eoin’s eyes suddenly cross as Druscilla White puts her head in between EOin O’Rourke’s legs grabs his thighs and then powerbombs him off the top of the ladder!!! O’Rourke had desperately tried to grab the briefcase but was unable to do so as the sudden shot to the testicles caused his grip to loosen and Druscilla who hadn’t even seen the briefcase looked down and didn’t see the briefcase and she didn’t hear the bell ring.
The fans are roaring with approval as Druscilla then places her hand on the 3rd rung from the top and pulls herself up catching the briefcase handle as it slipped off the top and was about to fall into the arms of the man who had pulled it from it’s hook. Druscilla White holds the briefcase high in the air as she then places both of her hands on the side of the ladder and allows herself to slide down and the moment her feet touch the canvas the bell sounds and Royal Powerhouse INFORMS US ALL WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!
[ Royal Powerhouse ]: HERE IS YOUR WINNER OF THE FIRST ANNUAL LADDER WAR…DRRRUUUUUSSSSCCCCIIILLLAAAAAAA WWWWWWHHHHIIIITTTTEEEEE BBBBRRRROOOOOTTTHHHHEEERRRRRR!!!
Once the tape ended, I smiled. ”Oh… now you do? Good. I don’t need to introduce myself again. Pretty sure I made a… lasting impression.” I lit a joint. Inhaled deeply and sighed a contented sigh. ”Trigger Warning Eoin; I’m a “Bite a chunk out of the whole KitKat bar” kinda girl. You know. A heathen. I Will take a bite out of your ego, boyo, and I will watch as you bleed out. We’ve done this dance before. I showed you exactly how fucking vile I can be. How’d your nuts feel after that? Not too terrible, I hope. Hate to know I cost someone a free fuck. But, I don’t hide behind my lover’s legs, Eoin. I don’t hide behind a stable. I fight my own fights. I don’t rely on anyone to protect me. I stand on my own feet.” I took another drag. ”But, why mince words? Why beat around the bush here? No point in chest puffing or measuring our dicks, right?”
Hearst Tower was always a busy place, but especially so given the shenanigans between Dane Preston and Joe Montouri. Sahara and Allison. But today, I seemed to have the place to myself. I walked down the hallway, past the HR offices, slowly heading to another conference room. ”See that spot?” I pointed to a small dent in the wall with a small red stain on the floor. ”Yeah. I put your buddy down pretty hard. Just like I’ll put you down.””Sure. You’re part of The Cure, but what do you cure exactly? Stupidity? Sobriety? What about curing the fact you exist? That should definitely be looked into. Don’t be the dumb cunt you were back in OPW. Don’t underestimate me. I never underestimate anyone. Let alone those I’ve fought before. That would prove deadly. Underestimating someone, especially one you’ve fought before, could put you in the grave, Eoin.”
”You might surprise me. You might have a few tricks, boyo, but I will always fight harder. I will always keep going. I won’t quit. I don’t run away. I don’t beg for anything. I stomp whoever is in my way. Ask that cunt Dollface. How’s her nose?” I gave a soft giggle as I waved, I knew she’d be watching. She couldn’t help herself. I walked into another room, flicking the lightswitch on as I did. ”Come on Eoin, come Saturday you’ll see I mean business. I could stand here all night and talk about how badass I am, but I won’t. You’ve faced me once before and I owned it. I took that briefcase right out of your reach. You’ve watched my matches here in Fight. Words pale in comparison to what I want to do to you.Okay. You’re the big Irish boy, come to the states to wreck some havoc, fuck a few bitches, maybe even make a name for yourself; but I’ll tell you what right now. My name will not be in the loss category against you.”
I sat at the head of one of the conference tables, boots propped up. I took a hit from the joint, the way the lighting struck me and flickered in the smoke was sinister. Like the villain I was. The villain I was trained to be. ”You stood against Betsy Granger. But you tapped out, boyo. Boo hoo. Poor Eoin. I’m not seeing you as a threat. At all.” I ashed the blunt on the floor, maintenance would sweep up later. I’m sure I’d be billed. Or docked. Whatever, I didn’t care. This was about being who this company wanted me to be. Who I was fucking born to be.”I watched you fight MDM. I’ll admit, you’ve got a little going for ya except… Oh wait, no. No you don’t. I’m sorry. You let Murphy take the win. That’s a lot of losses on your record. But, let’s add one more, shall we? Maybe another loss will help you realize, it’s time for you to hop a flight back home, boyo.”
”You don’t belong in Fight Eoin. You don’t have the bloodlust required. You aren’t a killer. You portray this big, bad image but you are a marshmallow, Eoin. A squishy pretty boy. That’s probably why Apathy took you in. She looked at poor, pitiful Eoin and decided to be all motherly and shit. But wait, doesn’t she fuck you? Does that mean…?” The sheer gag intensity of the thought turned my stomach. ”Dude, are you boning your maternal figure?” My whole body released a shiver of the sheer grotesque imagery that just rick rolled my mind. I could be a demented bitch, sometimes, it seemed. ”But, let’s get real here for a bit.””You’re a bitch, Eoin. A bitch for The Cure. A bitch for Apathy. Hell, even Fight considers you a bitch. Wonder why? Ever stop to think why you’re laughed at? Why do the rest of us Fighters cackle when you walk by?”
”See who’s with me, when I come down that ramp? The Wolves. Their loyalty is unfettered. I am their president. Their Queen, if you will. You? You’re a lackey for The Cure. For Apathy. You’re a follower. I’m a leader. See the difference? My pack doesn’t fight for me, they fight With me. The Cure doesn’t even care about you, Eoin. Where are they when you step into the ring? Hmm? They’re off doing whatever Apathy tells them to.” I sneered. I stood up, boots firmly planted on the tile floor. I turned. The Wolves of Óðinn top rocker on the back of my cut. ”See that?” Then I turned again. I pointed to the President’s patch on my left breast. “And that? Yeah. I’m their alpha, Eoin. The New York charter is alive because of me. The Wolves follow me. The New York Wolves are here because of me. The ferocity of who I am in the club, I bring to the ring every time I cross those ropes. Every. Single. Week. I’m a brute, yeah, ok, but I’m savvy. Smart. I don’t cower behind my club; We all stand together. Can you say that about The Cure? Do you really think they’ll piss on you, if you were on fire?”
”Look, boyo, come Saturday, you’ll see. The Wolves will always stand beside me. Will The Cure stand beside you, or will you be out in the cold, all alone?” I crossed my arms across my chest, tilted my head to the side and smiled. A disturbing little grin. Where were the fangs? As the camera crew tried to close the gap, security caught up with us. Oops? Roscoe, moving from his hidden spot in the shadows, stopped the security boys from interrupting. I raised a hand, easing my Wolves. ”You’d better bring some magic, kid. This time, I won’t go easy. This time the crowd will be soaked in your blood. I don’t fuck around, Eoin, I bring the hurt. Can you handle it? You won’t be able to run and hide under Apathy’s skirt, this week kid. Know your place, stay on the porch with the rest of the puppies. You won’t survive the Wolves’ Alpha.” I growled a bit, but then chuckled. “Now Eoin, will you be with your “pals” or will you be the lonely little leprechaun, yet again?” I flashed a wider grin, letting the lights flicker and glitter off my trademark fangs. Yay! They did exist! “Hope you’ve got the Luck ‘O the Irish, kid. You’re going to need it.” The camera came in tight for a close up, I smiled and winked. ”I’m going to enjoy smacking you around the ring, again, Eoin. Maybe I’ll bring a shillelagh stick to cave your skull in… Choices, choices. See you at Venom!” I blew a kiss just as my security boys came to grab me and escort me out and the scene faded to