The New Year
By: Ricky Rodriguez
Writing Prompt: No
Date: 1st Jan 2022
I just couldn’t take it anymore. So, it’s not like it was a spur of the moment decision either. It was always the same scenario too. I’d keep my mouth quiet until I couldn’t anymore. She’d talk me down and make me believe everythin was gonna be better. Then we’d have makeup sex and everythin would ve okay. I’d fall for it. Each and every time I believed her. I wanted to believe her. I needed to believe her. But it just got to the point where I couldn’t.
The stupidest thing bout it is, I don’t even remember what prompted the argument. All I know is that I was at the end of my rope. I was able to acknowledge that I wasn’t happy and that I wasn’t gonna be happy in that situation. It was the same thing as it was so many times before. She tried to get me to change my mind, to keep me where I was. She pleaded. She guilt tripped. There was even an outburst of anger. But I stayed strong. I planted my feet, buckled down, and held firm.
And just like that..it was over. I wasn’t gonna roll over this time. I wasn’t gonna just lay back and let this thing keep happenin. I couldn’t keep doin it. I was feelin worse and worse with every day that passed. It was somethin I had to do or I was gonna get to a point where I hated myself. And that was a point I was really fuckin close to.
People can blame it on whatever they need to blame it on. Wanna blame it on Bobby’s Twitter poll? Wanna blame it on Jennie? On Thad? You’re wastin your time. Sure, people were talkin to me but there is only one person you can blame for this: Me. Not nobody or nothin else, just me. I made the decision. I took the time to really think bout everythin that was happenin. I decided that not bein with her is what was best for me. Call it selfish, call it whatever you wanna call it. Fact of the matter is I did what I truly felt like I had to do.
I can’t even blame Sahara. Everyone told me whatta bad idea it was gettin with her. Hell, even Sahara herself told me whatta shitty idea it was, how bad for me she was. I shoulda listened. She’ll even tell you that. I never listened to her and how I woulda been so much better off if I had. But I didn’t and there’s nothin I can do to change that. I don’t even think I would ever. But, with the New Year right around the corner, I hafta keep my head up. I hafta keep pushin. I hafta keep my head bout me. Most importantly, I hafta keep my hopes high for 2022.
But then again..how could I not? I mean, Jennie. She’s been beyond great for me. So kind, carin, fun too. And not just partyin and drinkin till I get blackout drunk either. Fun stuff too. We build Lego sets. Done some paintballin, laser tag, so many just genuinely fun things. I never feel like I hafta worry bout bein judged or mocked by her cause I enjoy doin things like that. And even better than all that, she believes in me. Like really actually believes in me. That is such an amazin feelin, y’know?
Everyone has been tellin me..tellin both of us..how good we’d be for one another. The more I heard bout it the more I found myself thinkin bout it..dreamin bout it. And now? I’m startin to see how much better things are than they ever coulda been in that dream.
The night I ended things with Sahara, Thad was on it. He knew I’d need to get away from The Tower and he gave me the means to do that. But it wasn’t just me, it was Jennie too. She stayed with me. That was the first night we shared a bed. Just the two of us. We got to Thad’s and me and him hadda really good talk. Even had a few drinks. But after that, he showed us our room.
She just..comforted me. We laid in the bed and she listened to everythin I hadda say. She was so supportive and had the best things to say. When I finally felt like I got everythin out we just laid there. Enjoyed each other’s company and watched Dragon Ball Z till we fell asleep.
That went on a couple more nights and..we even started showerin together. Wasn’t no touchin or nothin, it was just..nice. Now, I’m not gonna say it wasn’t damn near impossible to keep my hands to myself but I somehow managed. It was totally worth it tho..cause it happened. We hooked up and oh my god, without givin too many details, it was..magic. It was like a whole new experience, unlike anythin ever before, and I’ve had some experiences before.
We were gonna keep things bout us quiet, just between the two of us, for a lilbit at least. But then New Year’s Eve happened. I don’t regret it at all. I was able to see a side of Jennie I never saw before and I loved it. She was so free, no inhibitions. Completely livin in the moment and it was everythin to me. We were completely fuckin hammered, higher than the clouds, and it just happened. With just one Tweet, everyone’s suspicions were proved right. Me and Jennie are together and I couldn’t be happier cause of it.
Sure everybody had their reactions to it but that wasn’t our problem. My one and sole focus now is our happiness. Everythin else can be figured out as we go. I’m finally startin to feel better bout myself and that’s gonna translate to everythin else. With a newly found confidence, I honestly feel like 2022 is gonna be the greatest year ever. With Jennie by my side, there ain’t nothin I can’t do!
Happy New Year’s everyone~