By: Eoin O’Rourke
Date: 1st Oct 2021
After Venom #9, my Godfather Craig called me, he asked me to come to his estate in upstate New York to meet with him, something urgent. The address he gave me was to a quiet lonely house far outside the city, but just close enough that its nightly glow shines under the hill. I entered the house but Craig wasn’t around. I walked through his home, finding a few rooms, but Craig was nowhere to be found. I did find a cabinet of old Irish Whiskey. I poured a full shot of the whiskey…
A firepit crackles over a brick fireplace. The fire casts a shadow along the hardwood floor in my Godfather’s study. Tonight is special. Long velvet drapes frame the windows, the walls are lined in shelf after shelf of books.Then you see your stereotypical giant globe sits to the side collecting dust. In front of the fireplace there lies a large white bearskin rug. Finally we lay eyes on our host for the evening. He is posed in a high back chair, slightly sitting sideways with a big black leather book in his lap,, with his right leg over the arm of the antique chair and the other planted on the ground, and a half glass of whiskey in his hand…
Story Time with Eoin
Once Upon a time there was a thot, named Dru. Where that stain came from? Nobody knew!
Cause’ hey, that’s Dru.
THOT. ROT. Oh no my damn crotch!!
For if the story were to be told, well, Dru would have some confessing to do. Say Dru, just how much dick sucking did ya have to go through? Must be nice to climb that social ladder, letting all the boys and men empty the bladder for a golden splatter. You damn fool, now you’ve unleashed Eoin the Mad Hatter.
Now his skill grows like a wallet getting fatter because his determination and will, a Dru match will finally have some chatter and finally fucking matter. Come on motorwitch gang, we have lame ass frat boys and Joe Montuori to bang. Its all well and good, let me assure you, I’m Dru and damnit my daddy said that I mattered. He’ll be back in another hour or two.
Cause’ im Dru! And I fucking matter! I MATTER! Crying, years of tears filling up and surrounding. Thank God she’s finally fucking drowning. “I MATTER!”
-The book slaps and dust flys from the old book. The book rises from Eoin’s lap and keeps rising. Eoin’s face is once again shown, now visually agitated. He then tosses the book over his head and it crashes into a bookcase, knocking some books out and glass falling and looks over at the fireplace-
She fuckin’ matters so much does she? Self righteous, self loving cunt. The only thing that matters to Dru is, how in the world is she gonna get me to fuck her when this is all said an’ done. “Look we’ll bang later k?” Ok! Sure, I sure love fuckin’ me whores, never know when I’ll get a STD from em, but one of these day’s right? WRONG!!! I wouldn’t fuck her, shes already a married woman ain’t she? I don’t commit adultery, in any circumstance. I mean, with all this talk of you hangin’ and bangin’ you’d never know that you were! Cause you never see ’em. Where is he? Is he in a bog somewhere lady? Maybe swimmin’ with the gators is what he does when he knows his wife’s a first rate whore. When fightin’s not fillin’’ the bills, fillin’ ya up is enough.
Honest to god woman, is there nota dick she don’t like? Fuck if I had a real runaround guess, it would’ve been me brother, but, he knows better. He’s got a better arse than you. But lets be real here girl, the only dick she ever hated was the ones that didn’t pay up the goods. Whether that shit be cash, all though if I’m dead honest, she ain’t even worth the price of admission, or drugs, you’ll take any cock. Big cock, small cock, thick cock, thin cock, where the loneliest cock go? In Dru, Dru, Dru.
Let me level with somethin’ hear me out I said drugs. Let’s expand on that Eoin, alright? Right. Ehm. Who in their right state of mind worships this woman? Who? I ask the world who?
-Eoin walked over to the window that had a crack through it thanks to him tossing the book-
Hey! Anyone with half a brain out there wanna willingly fuck Druscilla White? Anyone? Hey! Oh wow, look at that, not a single response. It’s almost as if, those who know what they’re willingly doing, wouldn’t give up their livelihoods to bang a whore who thinks herself a prophet. A bloody fuckin’ prophet. My god. The Narcissism has no end. I gotta bloody wonder though, how does one go from someone who can be your best friend, to sleeping with them in the same sentence. The best thing I can come up with is that it’s hereditary.
-Eoin looks down at his glass and downs it-
Fuck, Imma need more whiskey… What was I on? Oh yeah her daddy issues. See, everyone’s problems all start from the source, and I think its fair to say that Dru’s main issue with her life is her daddy issues. Imma take a long shot in the dark here, and think that her daddy once called her a prophet and thats where she got that whole idea from when she was a young lass. Though I can say, I never made me dad run away for just a pack of cigarettes. And! I actually found the old bastard! Ha! And I shot him, and threw him in the water where he belongs. I’m sure you would say the same about your pops lady… But till ya find him, we can never be equals.
-Eoin finds another bottle of whiskey and pours another shot into the glass-
An’ another ting, bout this bitch… *hic*She tries and tries to stand out from the crowd but, everyone knows its… Her. That’s her biggest weakness, its her. People rather see others like *hic* like Vhodka Marie. Cus… now that you mention it me, she looks like the early evening 1960’s sitcom version of Vhodka. While the woman that Dru imitates looks like she belongs in suicidegirls.comtm. Nothing wrong with that… Just that one looks like she is only in black and white snuff films, and the other has talent. Dumbass, I bet she sits at her bayou home, waiting for poppa to come back from the shop with them cigs. Hopefully he’ll bring Pall Mall’s.
The next morning
-Eoin is on the antique chair asleep, snoring loudly, with the whiskey bottle in one of his hands and his other hand on his chest. The room is a mess, bottles are around the floor, along with books and a broken glass, and the fire in the fireplace is out. Craig walks into the room-
I see you helped yourself to my old liquor.
-Eoin kept snoring-
-Craig tried to take the whiskey bottle out of Eoin’s hand and Eoin got up in a roaring rage-
Ní mac fraochÚn tú! Beidh mé cloigeann aghaidh tú!
-Eoin blinked and shook his head and saw his godfather holding his arm-
Woah hey… Craig? Where did you come from? Where am I? Where’s the drink?
I just got back Eoin, but I can see you let yourself in, on my personal storage of fine spirits. And also ruining my study.
-Eoin looked around and saw the mess he caused. But right after observing it he takes a swig of the whiskey that Craig quickly takes away-
Hey! Come now lad what the hell is the matter with you, look at this shite. What are ya- Why did you do this?
Well I’m sorry but I came here yesterday to come to ya, ya called me, “come see me, its urgent.” You said that.
Alright fairplay, I did say that, but I expected you to come meet me today, not so fast and after a show you work for lad! Like I expected you to just take the day off, and relax and then come see me, not so quickly.
Well where the fuck were you then mate?
I was taking care of my priorities. Something I think Eoin you have a problem with managing. I mean for christ’s sake, you nearly emptied out my stash! Look! I’ve been saving this stuff for a rainy day, not so my god son would drink it all to himself! Like… How was any of this productive for you?
Truth be told Craig, I came as soon as I could so I could spend more time with my only living family that I still have.
No, you don’t have the right to say that as an excuse. Because you do still have a living family, and I ain’t all of it. It’s that bastard of a brother of yours. Yeah he may not be whole, but at least you and he share the same blood. It’s not like I have any. Tell me mate what matters to you more? Your family? Or that nice piece of ass?
-Eoin’s eyes widened and he marched over to Craig with fists clenched-
Woah woah woah lad calm down!
Stay away from Liz, she’s mine till I die…
So it is her that you care more for.
-Eoin looked somber as Craig said that, but then he looked back at him with determination-
She’s the woman I love with all my heart. I’d give up anything to show it to her, to prove it to her… I just want her to know that no matter how or what I do, I do for her and her name.
And your family?
… My family is dead Craig. It’s just me and my friends. Liz, Wolfe, Moore, Enforcer, those lads. They’re my friends, I help them, and they help me. But my family… No.
-Eoin walked past Craig and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a broom-
Sorry about the mess though… Should we get started?
Eh, with that speech of yours, I thought you’d never ask laddie.