“Well ring a ding ding my dick off..”

By: Miss Michelle

Date: 25th Aug 2021

He did it! He was able to put his lack of wrestling background behind him and come up with the win against Kasey. I can’t even tell you how proud I am of Poptart for getting the job done for me. He still needs a lot of work,  but at least he’s showing signs of improvement. 

This week will be the biggest challenge for him yet though being in the ring with five other people is a lot different than being with just one, throw in the ladder and its a whole new story.

She knew he could handle it though. He should have little to no problems, this is where he shines. Because yes, there will be extra bodies and a ladder, but because there is a ladder that means no rules. That means anything goes and beat your opponents until they can’t stand anymore.

Remember, Poptart is not a wrestler, he is a fighter. And in this match he can be a fighter. He doesn’t need to know how to do any special moves, he can just fuck everyone up and leave. 

I hope he does. I really do. I need him to bring me that Bronx Championship.

We see Michelle walking inside of a local nail salon on Fifth Avenue. Walking in behind her are Madison Montuori and her father,  Paul Montuori. The three of them remove the sun glasses from their face as they enter and look around. 

“Hiii how can I help you?” One of the Vietnamese women shouts out.

“Three mani-pedis, please!” Madison shouts out in excitement.

“Okay honey, you guys pick uh coluh.”

Madison nearly ran across the shop to the color wall as Michelle and Paul followed behind. 

As they are looking at the colors the woman begins filling the small pedicure tubs and talking to another Vietnamese woman who is doing someone else’s nails.

“Th?t là m?t gia ?́nh ??p ??.”

“Tôi cá không ph?i gia ?́nh, tôi cá anh ?y là b?n ??ng tính c?a cô ?y.”

The two women began laughing. She looked over and waved the three of them to her, telling them to sit down and soak their feet. As she sat them down, she looked at the colors chosen.

“Oh hunnay. Pink so pretty, you get boyfriend for sure.” She says to Madison.

“Like hell she will!” Paul interjects..

“Why you no pick coluh hunnay? You no want boyfriend?” She said to him, holding back a snicker. “You so pretty hunnay, boys love you”

Paul rolls his eyes.

“I could pull your man, that’s for sure!” 

Paul rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest while Michelle and Madison were damn near in hysterics. He shot them the death glare and they both chuckled again.

“Probably not a smart idea to start shit with the lady who’s going to be cutting your nasty toenails.” Michelle said, with a smirk.

“My toes ain’t nasty for one, for another, I ain’t scared of her. “

The lady stood from the tiny chair in front of the tub and reached over in front of PMont to move his chair forward and he flinched a little..

Laughing, “Right.. not scared.”

He shook his head, and then leaned back in the chair getting comfortable as she went to work on his toes. 

“So, I was thinking.. you know there’s this ladder match coming up for the Bronx Championship..”

He rolled his eyes, knowing this was going to be good.. “..yeah and?”

“I wonder if..”

“No.” He interrupted before she could finish.

“You didn’t even let me finish..” she spoke up. “I was just thinking,  wouldn’t it be cool if..”

“No.” This time he and Madison said it in unison. 

“You guys are dicks.” She said as she crossed her arms.

“Hey, lady.. might wanna fix her eyebrows since you’re done with her toes.”

 P motioned towards Michelle and she gave him a dirty look.

“Jokes on you. I could use a tweeze..”

She tossed her hair over her shoulder before standing up next to the tub.

“Okay hunnay,  I fix eyebrow. You go room 2, I be there 5 minutes ok?”

Michelle nodded and headed off towards the room. As she walked inside she made herself comfortable up on the table before she decided now would be a good time to speak on her upcoming match at Toxic Tag.

“I have been a part of a lot of things in my career. I have had more matches than I care to remember. And I have held a lot of championships. I, however, don’t recall that I have ever been involved in a ladder match for a championship and I guess, I kind of still won’t be?”

She let out a small chuckle before continuing on.. 

“See, as you’ve seen over the past few weeks, my name is on the marquee and on the show card but I am not involved in the goings-on in the ring, that’s what my good friend Poptart is for. He had a rough go at first, but now he has a steady foot and is holding his own, on his own in that ring and I couldn’t be more proud of him.

I had my choices,  I could have let one of the other bastards, Silas or Dominic, have this Championship opportunity in my place, but I trust Poptart to get the job done again and bring home the gold. It shouldn’t be hard for him to do either, i mean, yeah he’s facing five other people, but even if you added all five of them together they don’t even equal one good competitor. I mean, we have..

Lisa Marie, who has been around since OPW days, I remember her vaguely.  She’s one of those people who thinks she should just be handed everything,  like she doesn’t deserve shit but she demands it anyways. Normally, I would like that in a person, but not today and not this person. Lisa Marie is the literal human form of a paper straw. Seriously, what is the point of them? They look stupid, they feel weird, they fall apart when you need them. So yeah, just like Lisa Marie, they are useless.

I mean, she’s had some good spots in the business though. Granted they were while someone was carrying her, but it still counts right? I believe her and AdrenaLynn were two time OPW tag team champions.. I guess back then we just gave out titles like participation trophies. 

Unfortunately for Miss Ashton though, at Toxic Tag, there will be no AdrenaLynn and there will be no free Championship just for showing up.  She will be all on her own, no Daddys mafia around and not even her shithead fiance will be able to console her when she gets her ass handed to her by my right hand man and I am announced as the FIRST FiGHT Bronx champion.. and no, I won’t give her any free rematches.

Let her go cry to whoever will listen that she is not weak and that she deserves more.. bitch you don’t even deserve to lick the sweat out of my ass crack.

Speaking of ass sweat, let me say that I am not even sure how Korrupt got into this match. I’m really hoping that I wasn’t lying when I said that we didn’t give out participation trophies here but I’m not too sure when I see Korrupts name on this list of participants in this ladder match. 

I feel like I know Korrupt. I feel like he’s someone I’ve met before. Someone who was once a shitty competitor who finally realized he was garbage and is trying to make some sort of comeback by hiding behind some shitty mask and clown suit. Hm.. maybe not though. It is hard to tell these days, I mean, most of the morons walking these hallways are clowns anyway.”

She shrugged her shoulders and crossed one leg over the other, getting comfortable.

“Forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin. I am about to watch and feel an intense happiness inside of myself as Poptart destroys a man of the cloth. I am going to watch as Poptart lays waste to this holy man, and I am going to love every single moment of it. For there is an evil that dwells in my heart and longs for the chance to do these horrible things myself,  but as I carry the second coming of all that is great, I regret that I must have someone deliver harm for me.

See? I can talk like a complete jackass too. I’ve seen your skit and I’m not impressed, Father Thyme. I have watched as you claimed that you were going to go out and decimate those who stood before you and I watched as you failed to do so. 

You know, a priest gimmick is so last century, not only is it a bit weird but its lame as fuck too. I mean, I have seen your Twitter activity, Father. It’s not a good look. I mean, how much did you have to pay that hooker to suck your dick again? Oh that’s right,  she couldn’t suck it because she couldn’t find it because you had it shoved up some altar boys ass.. got it.”

She paused for a moment.

“Well ring a ding ding my dick off, who’s next on the list? Oh, Dark Tiger.. the man who’s been around forever and has achieved absolutely nothing. Man, you’ve been in more bathroom break matches than I can count,  what the hell did you do to deserve to be moved up on the card?

I actually love that you and your tag team partner, Lisa Marie, are both in this match. The reason is kind of selfish though, I mean I’m only happy you’re both in it so I can watch you both get the ass kicking your overly entitled asses deserve. 

Next week, you and Lisa can argue over who sucks the most.. spoiler,  you’re both pieces of shit.

Last and very much least,  Bam Margera. Don’t you have a toaster to stick your dick in this weekend man, what are you even doing here? Wait.. wrong jackass. 

Bam Miller, the little garbage pail kid who has been sitting in the backstage area of the tower trying to get into Sahara’s panties. Dude, I set you up for so many free throws with her but for some reason you keep hitting rim shots – lucky for you, I heard she likes those.

On a more serious note – who the fuck are you? I guess it doesn’t really matter, you’ll be just another name on the paper in the books after Poptart is finished with you and brings home the Bronx Division Championship to me. It’s obvious you’re the new guy here. It’s obvious you don’t know much about this place or anyone here,  and it’s obvious that you were kind of just tossed into this match for no reason – or maybe you were tossed in because you are friends with that giant cunthole Pheelys gargoyle. Who really knows or cares..

What you should know is that I am sorry. I am sorry that this is going to be the match that everyone judges you on for the remainder of your time in this company. I’m sorry that you are just another worthless piece of shit that Poptart will lay waste to, wait.. No, I am not sorry for that. 

I am proud of your mom though,  I wish I could high five her for being brave enough to take out the trash the way she did. 

I would wish you all good luck, but you’d know I didn’t mean it. I would say may the best person win – but we already know I will.. so I guess I’ll just say, see all you lame bitches at Toxic Tag..”

She smiled as the door opened and the lady stepped inside and the scene faded.